This is goodbye
by carlycarter
Summary: Set in season 1 post episode 10 "Regrets" - Myka centric fic - a bit Myka/Pete ish - Myka accidentally shoots Pete...
1. Chapter 1

_**AN:**_ I don't own anything! I haven't even seen all the episodes so forgive me if i've missed something big! I also know nothing about anything Sci-Fi realted and thus this is merely a character story. Takes off mid episode 10 "Regrets" then diverges from canon. Myka-centric, and alarmingly Myka/Pete ish, despite the fact that I ship Myka and just about every other person on that show other then Pete...what can I say, the fic wrote itself! And Pete it is! Forgive my character assassination of Myka, i'm certain my fic Myka is far more pathetic and self pitying than the Myka of the show. Just a little angsty story that came into my head. Hope you like it.

_**This is goodbye**_

_**Chapter 1**_

Reality and fantasy are swirling around her in horrid, vivid colors. She can no longer distinguish hallucination from truth.

In that one moment, everything seems so real.

Silently, she berates herself, for her inability to keep her grip. She, always the logical one, Myka- _by-the-book-_ Bering. She, (according to Pete), who had '_no imagination what. so. ever._' She ought to have known better. She, of all people, ought to have been able to keep one foot firmly planted on the ground.

But.. it's.. Sam.

Even though she is standing there, absolutely horror struck, screaming at him to leave her alone, something in her doesn't want Sam to be gone. Something lights up inside of her when she sees him living, breathing, standing right infront of her. Some part of her doesn't want to let Sam go.

Sam knows it too, he is smiling smugly at her. Hurling accusations at her.

"You were late"

_Was I?_

"You killed me."

_I'm sorry , Sam_

"Sorry won't bring me back."

Sam is angry. Sam is out for blood. And still, she doesn't' want Sam to leave. It feels right, it feels just. That she has to make her atonement. Let Sam have his moment. Let Sam take her life. A life for a life. What did it really matter?

But there is something in her that just can't lay down and die. A little voice inside her, telling her it- _Wasn't. Her. Fault. _

A strong, firm, voice telling her to fight. She feels it grasp hold of her, not willing to let her go under, to let her drown in self pity and self loathing, to be crushed under the excruciating weight of guilt.

It's Pete's voice. Calling her name.

And it's the one and only thing that is holding her together.

Earlier that morning...

"_Did I do something?" Pete asked her, and at first he sounded sincere. _

_She turned away from him, refusing to answer. She had never been very good at the silent treatment, but she was stubborn, and she was determined not to let him win. _

"_Give me a break, Myka, just tell me what I did."_

_She kept up the facade of cold indifference. _

_Out of the corner of her eye she saw his wounded puppy dog face. It was almost enough to melt her. Almost enough to make her turn to him and smile. Almost enough to make her turn to him and hug him as she did that moment she realized she was free and no longer trapped inside the looking glass._

_But she held firm to her stubborn resentment. She turned her head and asked Claudia to pass the salt. _

"_Whatever it is, I'm sorry, ok?" He told her. He was being a little too nice to her. They all were after the fiasco with the mirror. And so they should be._

"_How can you be sorry if you don' t even know what you did!" She demanded angrily in return. She isn't so much angry at Pete now, she is angry at herself for breaking her vow of silence. Angry at herself that she let __Pete get under her skin. _

_He was supposed to be her partner. He hadn't even realized that 'Alice' had taken her place. He probably never would have if not for Artie. She could have been trapped for eternity inside that looking glass, and Pete Lattimer would never have noticed, much less cared. She felt let down, betrayed, and yes, angry. But she didn't dare tell him any of that aloud. Didn't tell him that she still couldn't sleep at night, she was still afraid this life was all a dream, and when she woke up she would still be sitting there, inside that looking glass, cross legged in defeat, looking up at Artie, pleading with him to see her, to believe in her, to set her free. And Artie, turning a cold deaf ear. Artie insisting 'The real Myka is in Las Vegas with Pete. Surely Pete would know if Myka wasn't with him.' _

_And so she was afraid, exhausted, even a little hurt. And all of this somehow manifested itself in anger towards Pete. And somehow, it made her feel slightly better. _

"_Whoa!" Pete exclaimed, raising his hands to surrender. "Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed thismorning." _

_He turned to Claudia, who was thoroughly entertained by the bickering. He whispered, but deliberately loud enough for Myka to hear him "Are you sure that's the real Myka, and not the crazy chick from the mirror?"_

_He regretted his joke almost immediately, when Claudia only looked to him in stunned silence. Ok, bad move, he thought to himself. But he had not been expecting Myka to pick up her plate, and smash it to pieces right over his head._


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2 **_

Her gun is aimed straight at Sam's head. Sam's weapon is aimed at her. He is smiling at her, challenging her. But this is a war she knows she can not win. She lowers her weapon sadly in defeat. She simply can not bring herself to kill him a second time. She closes her eyes. She waits for him to pull the trigger. She longs for it to be over.

But, of course, nothing happens.

Sam isn't real. He is a figment of her imagination. He can't kill her. He can't even touch her. Sam isn't going to be the one to save her.

She feels bitter tears stinging her eyes. None of this is real, she tells herself. None of it, except the gun in her own hand. This, she is fairly certain, is real enough. The metal is cool against her skin. She tightens her grip. It feels safe, familiar.

Slowly, but deliberately, she lifts the gun to her own head. There is one sure fire way to end all of this. Sam can't do it for her, she sees this much now, but she can. She must.

She understands it now, the power of hallucination to push someone over the edge. She knows Sam isn't real. But the guilt, the shame, that's real. Too real. It's eating her alive. She has to make it stop.

She hears the voice again, Pete's voice, so close to her, telling her not to be afraid. She can feel his breath against her own skin. It's almost enough to make her stop. But it's too late. There is no turning back now. Her finger is compelled to pull that trigger.

Everything happens in horrifying slow motion from that point onwards. Pete screams. He screams her name. He screams "No!"

She turns. Sam is gone. But Pete is there, right beside her, always right beside her. Pete is wrestling the gun from her, he is still screaming. There is fear in his eyes. A fear she has never seen on him. He is terrified, even as he is telling her not to be afraid.

Her hands are shaking. It's all happening too quickly, and too slowly, all at the same time. It's confusing, frightening, surreal.

And then, the horrifying sound of the shot being fired.

The surprised and wounded cry from Pete Lattimer's lips.

The heavy dull thud as he crashes to the ground.

And blood, Pete's blood, spilling out over the cold prison floor.

_**Earlier that morning... **_

_Myka walked as far from the warehouse as she dared. Far away from the scrutinizing eyes of the others at the table. She could already imagine Pete and Claudia telling Artie that she lost the plot. That she, unprovoked, had smashed a plate over Pete's head. She could already feel Artie's disappointment weighing her down. _

_She meant the things she said to him in that mirror. She thought Artie was great, and somehow it was important to her that he reciprocated her feelings. _

_It occurred to her in that moment, as she walked alone, fatigued, and mightily hungry, that Artie reminded her of her father. Or rather, that Artie reminded her of the vision of a father she always wished she had. Someone who looked to her, saw her potential. Someone who cared about her in his own way. Even though Artie lied to her (by omission) on a daily basis, and even though it made her blood boil, she could understand on some level, he did it for her own good. A misguided and unnecessary desire to protect her. Somehow, Artie made her feel something she didn't remember ever feeling before- safe. _

_She had been angry at him when she found out about his past. She had been hurt. But she would have got over it. But sitting there, trapped inside that mirror, pleading with him to see her. The way he had coldly turned his back, that left scars she wasn't certain would ever heal. Sure he saved her in the end. But was that enough? It was Claudia and Leena who went to bat for her. If it was left to Artie and Pete- she would still be there, for all eternity, neither of them knowing the difference. She was simply that insignificant to them both. And that hurt like hell. That cut her deeply on levels she could never begin to explain to either one of them. _

_Why was is so hard for either of them to really see her? Claudia had recognized her straight away. Claudia had seen her, seen that trapped expression on her face. Claudia never had a single doubt. Neither had Leena. But Artie, he just couldn't see it. _

_She told him she felt sorry for him. That he was so blind to the things right in front of his face. But those were brave words, nothing more. What she felt in that moment was completely, utterly, unforgivably, betrayed. What she felt in that moment was invisible. _

_The feeling was not strange to her. Her entire life she had lived under the weight of invisibility. Knowing she was a disappointment by her very existence, the very fact she was not the son her father always wanted. He never let her forget it. That she was not enough, no matter what she did, never enough. That she wasn't wanted. That she wasn't valued. That she just didn't matter._

_And all the while she sat there, cross legged and defiant, like an angry child. She told Artie she needed to know that she mattered. But she knew already, deep down, that she just didn't matter enough. Not to her father, not to Pete, not to Artie. If she mattered, he would have seen her straight away. He wouldn't have stood there, physically restraining Claudia, as if he was afraid of her, as if she was going to hurt him somehow. "That thing" Artie called her. Looked right into her eyes and didn't even see her as a human being. _

_And what about Pete? Her so called partner? His fantastic 'intuition?" Did he not have the slightest inkling that something had been off? Did he not know her at all? Was she that replaceable in his eyes? And how could she ever trust him again? How could she trust either of them? Sure, they saved her in the end. And relief got the better of her, she hugged them and thanked them as if it was all behind them, as if they could sweep it all under the rug, as if it just didn't matter. But, it still stung like hell. _

_She still woke in a cold sweat, dreaming of being trapped, isolated, for eternity. And what's worse, never even missed. She still got up in the middle of the night, quietly making her way to the dresser, staring at herself in that mirror, wondering if she was even real? Wondering if that other Myka, the one staring back at her, might have done a better job of living. Maybe that reflection of herself might not have fucked things up so totally. Maybe that's the thing that was wrong with her, the thing that made it hard to breathe, the thing that drove her from her sleep night after night as she woke up gasping for air...she wondered if she even deserved to be free. Perhaps it would have been better all around if she never got out of that mirror? _


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3 **_

There is that that moment, fleeting yet horrifying, when she thinks Pete is dead. When she thinks she has killed him. Just like she killed Sam.

But Pete is there, wriggling on the floor, gasping for air, trying hard to call her name.

She panics. Suddenly she is aware of the mayhem that has been going on all around her. The banging and screaming of prison riots. How had she been so oblivious to the chaos around her?

She wants to run. Badly. To run and hide and banish every last memory of this, of him.

But there is Pete. He's hurt. She hurt him. He is calling her name, in a hoarse weak whisper.

"Myka. Myka, look at me." He is ordering her.

She kneels beside him, but she won't let herself look him in the eyes. Instead she focuses on the wound, she tries to stop the bleeding.

"I'm sorry." She tells him, over and over.

"Myka." He is still calling her name, "Listen to me."

But she isn't listening, she is only repeating over and over "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

The wound seems superficial to her, the blood flow is stopping. She hears the sirens, the approaching footsteps of police, of paramedics.

She tries to stand to her feet, but before she can get there, Pete's arm is grasping her wrist. She looks down to her own hand, horrified to find it stained with blood, Pete's blood. He is weak, and it isn't hard for her to free herself from his grasp.

"Don't leave me." Pete manages to say. For a moment she looks into his eyes. She is frozen by the warmth in his gaze, the compassion, the familiarity. She asks herself how she could have even been so angry with him? She asks herself how she could have shot him? She looks at him, in that moment, he is vulnerable, weak, afraid. It's a whole new side to Pete, something she has rarely seen before. He is begging her not to leave, but he just doesn't understand. She is poison. She did this to him. He deserves so much better. Letting self hatred once again cloud her judgement, she snaps away from his grasp and his gaze.

Suddenly, the paramedics are upon them, surrounding Pete, asking her to explain what happened.

"He was shot." She tells them in a shaky voice. How else can she explain it? How could she ever justify it, to Pete, to Artie, to herself?

One of the paramedics turns to her, "Don't worry ma'am, he'll be just fine."

To Myka, that seems like permission to leave. Pete will be just fine without her, hell she was the one who shot him, Pete will be better off without her. She nods at the tall paramedic, and turns to leave.

As she heads down the cold dismal prison corridors, towards the exit, she starts running. Faster and faster until she is outside, until she can breathe again. But it feels like she isn't getting anywhere, it feels like that corridor goes on for ever, like she will never get out. She feels, once again, trapped. And as she listens to the rhythmic sound of her footsteps across the cold stone floor, she thinks she hears Pete's voice, echoing down that corridor, calling after her. She thinks to herself that she better get used to it, because every time she closes her eyes she just knows she will hear him, haunting her, calling to her, in the stillness of the night.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4 **_

The injury had been serious enough. Myka knew this by the fact she had seen Artie and Claudia in the hospital corridors. It must be bad, to cause them both to leave the warehouse unattended. Arite didn't fly half way across the country for just any minor mishap. Myka holds her breath as they pass by her hiding in the stairwell, and silently she follows after them. She eavesdrops unashamedly at the doorway as the conversation unfolds inside Pete's hospital room.

"Did you find Myka?" Pete asks.

Artie ignores the question "I need you to tell me what really happened Pete." He insists.

"I told you, I don't remember anything." Pete answers wearily.

"Really? That's interesting. Because there is an eyewitness report that you were shot by your female partner." Artie informs him.

"Myka shot you? No way man." That was Claudia's input.

Myka couldn't see through the walls, but she envisioned the way Artie silenced the girl with a look.

"Explain to me everything that happened." Artie demanded.

"He got shot by a girl! That's what happened." Claudia announced playfully.

That Pete made no comeback to the girl's teasing, Myka took as a bad sign.

"It was an accident." Pete told them both.

That doesn't really make any difference, Myka thinks to herself. Her life was full of accidents. First Sam, now Pete. She turned everything she touched to ashes. The people she cared about were simply better off without her around.

"No one is saying it wasn't an accident." Artie answers.

"Though she was pretty mad at you this morning." Claudia reminds him. "She smashed a plate over your head, remember. You never told us what you did to piss her off by the way."

"That is not helpful, Claudia." Artie points out, cutting Claudia off, trying hard not to lose his temper with the girl. Myka can't see it, but she knows those little veins are popping up in his head. She knows there is a playful smile on Claudia's face, as she tries to make light of the situation. Though Myka also knows if she were to look deep enough into the girls stare, those eyes would betray her. She knows it's just Claudia's way of dealing with a stressful situation.

"Sor-ry." Claudia answers, before turning to Pete, "So, where is Myka?"

"Claudia!" Artie reprimanded the girl again. It was his place to ask the questions. Insolent girl, always thinking she knew better than him. And yet, it was a valid question. "So?" Artie repeated "Where is Myka?"

"I told you, I don't know." Pete answered.

"You don't know?" Artie tries to understand.

'"I lost consciousness, when I woke up, Myka was gone." He explains.

"I feel like I'm missing a vital piece of the puzzle here." Artie interjects.

Pete is losing his cool now, Myka can tell from the tone of his voice. He has had enough of questions, of trying to explain her conduct, to answer for her actions, to make sense of the fact that she disappeared and left him injured and bleeding and alone. "I told you everything. Mayhem, chaos, hallucinations, crazy storm, bullets flying everywhere, accidently shot, Myka gone, the end."

It doesn't escape Myka's notice that Pete has deliberately left parts out of the story. The part where she was hallucinating about Sam, the part where she held the gun to her own head and tried to pull the trigger, the part where Pete saved her, wrestling the gun away from her and getting himself shot in the process. She wants to hug Pete in that moment, for keeping her shameful secret. For allowing her to keep some small amount of dignity in Artie's eyes.

"You don't think...that mirror, did something to her?' Claudia muses. This time there isn't a trace of joking in the young girls voice. This time she is dead serious. This time she sounds afraid.

Myka had to stifle the laughter welling up in her throat. No Claudia, she wants to tell the girl. The mirror did nothing to me. This is me, this is who I am, who I've always been. Maybe you never realized it before, that's all.

"Claudia!" Artie reprimands her again, louder this time. It causes Claudia and Myka both to jump in fright.

"So she just left?" Artie is asking again.

"I told you already, yes she left."

"Of her own free will? Are you sure she wasn't kidnapped?" Artie asks.

"No, she left of her own free will, but I'm not sure that she is thinking very clearly, those hallucinations..."

"The hallucinations should resolve completely away from the prison." Artie dismissed Pete immediately.

"I know that, but I think she saw something...something that has some kind of hold on her." Pete answers. "You really should stop wasting time asking me questions that I already answered a thousand times, and go find Myka."

"You're worried about her." Claudia says, and it's almost an accusation, as if it's some kind of crime for him to care about Myka.

"Am not." He answers defensively. "She shot me, she can take care of herself." Pete's words aren't cruel, they are playful, teasing, and Myka tries to tell herself that he is only defending himself against Claudia's teasing. That it has threatened his manhood, being shot by a girl, by his very own partner, letting Claudia rub it in his face. That above all, Pete is embarrassed by this whole thing. That he has been sucked into this playful game with Claudia, that he has to appear tough. That he doesn't really mean that he doesn't care about her. She tries hard to believe it.

But Pete's words cut right through her. Why should any of them care about her now? She shot Pete. She could have killed him.

"Enough." Artie silences them both. To Pete he says "Don't worry about Myka...

But Myka has already turned, once again she is running away. She doesn't hear the rest of Artie's sentence. All she hears is those words, _Don't worry about Myka,_ and she realizes that she simply doesnt matter to anyone anymore.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: A big big thank you to all the people out there reading and especially to all the wonderful people who have taken time to leave some feedback, it means the world to me, each and every one of you are the reason I kept writing this, so I hope you enjoy it :) All feedback welcome, please take a minute to let me know what you think

xoxo

Carly

_**Chapter 5**_

Myka is not naïve enough to believe she can hide from Artie. What she is counting on is the fact that Artie wont be bothered looking for her. That he will be busy with the warehouse, with finding her replacement. That he considers her just not worth the effort anymore.

Besides, Artie doesn't like to make a scene. She has always had the ability to make him uncomfortable in a confrontation. Never more so than that day in the mirror, telling him the things on her heart, the things they both knew but never spoke of. Telling him how much she admired and respected him, how much she craved his admiration in return. She saw the extreme discomfort in his eyes that day. It's not like he is going to come after her for any answers, for explanations.

Not like Pete.

She thinks back to her impossible wish the first day in the warehouse. Her simple yet desperate wish. To go home. To get the hell away from that crazy warehouse. To have her life back. Not such an 'impossible' wish, as it happens. She wonders in that moment if Pete-the-ferret has vanished in a puff of smoke because of it. That thought is profoundly unsettling and twists her heart into knots. Because if she is going to lose everything, her job, her very identity, her partner, her home, her family- she should at least get to keep that ferret. Somehow, the thought of losing him makes her feel more alone than anything else. Because he, that stupid creature, is the only one that won't be looking to her with judgement, or worse, with disappointment. He accepts her as she is. He won't turn on her, no matter what. And as long as she keeps feeding him, she matters to him, she is the most important person in the world to him, and that thought is enticing to her. Almost enticing enough to make her consider going back to the warehouse to get him. Almost, but not quite.

Even after all of this, Myka is still some semblance of the person she has always been. By the book. The thought of fleeing in disgrace fills her with unrest. There is a proper way to do things, and she will do it. She will simply take Artie out of the equation, that's all. They will both be more comfortable that way. She will find some way of contacting Mrs Frederic. Preferably in writing, and not face to face. She will resign and that will be the end of it. Nice and neat. A pleasing result to everyone concerned.

As she sits in an obscure diner, in the middle of nowhere, not even certain any-more which state she is currently in, she thinks back to her first day at the warehouse. She wonders how things got so upside down. How in a relatively short space of time it has come to feel like her heart is being ripped out of her chest at the thought of not being part of the warehouse, the team. How the place transformed from a jail to a home. How the people around her became family. It took her long enough to realise it, her own family never provided her with an appropriate example. But family, and home, is what she considers she had fleetingly possessed.

Nothing should surprise her any longer, yet she still jumps out of her skin when she is startled from her self pitying thoughts by the voice behind her.

"Agent Bering." Mrs Frederic greets her. Almost as if she had been reading Myka's mind. Almost as if she had been waiting for here, right here in the middle of no place.

"Mrs Frederic." Is all Myka can manage to stumble "I was just...Actually..."

"May I sit?" Mrs Frederic asks. The woman has a gentle yet commanding presence that it is impossible to argue with. Myka nods in acknowledgement.

After a minute of silence, Myka looks to the other woman across the table questioningly, waiting for her to speak.

"You were the one who wanted to discuss something with me, I believe." Mrs Frederic prompts her.

"How did you know that?" Myka asks, before shaking her head quickly "Never mind, I don't want to know."

"Well then, I'm a very busy woman."

"Of course." Myka stumbles. She is nervous of the other woman, undoubtedly. But this professional, formal, and slightly intimidating exchange is still preferable in her mind to a confrontation with Artie. "I think we all agree it is best for all concerned if I leave the warehouse."

Mrs Frederic sighs wearily. "I felt certain I had made myself perfectly clear on that matter from the start. This is not a voluntary assignment. You work for me now, for the warehouse, this is not negotiable."

"You don't understand, I am leaving the secret service all together."

"I am afraid that is not acceptable either. There are security considerations, you must understand, you can not just up and leave when the fancy takes you."

"You really don't understand, I'm not capable of doing my job, I'm a danger to the people I work with, a hazard to the warehouse itself." It pained Myka to admit it, filled her with failure and shame and dread. But it was the truth. The simple, horrible truth. She lost her mind totally, on the job. Pete almost died because of it. Mrs Frederic would have to listen to that.

"I'm certain Arthur would inform me if that were the case." Mrs Frederic answers confidently.

"I'm certain he will." Myka answers back.

"Until that time then, I'll be expecting you to do the job assigned to you." Mrs Frederic stands to leave, feeling that the matter has been made perfectly clear.

"Wait.." Myka calls out. But she can not bring herself to tell the story, the vision of Sam, shooting Pete. She can not bring herself to let this woman into her deepest darkest thoughts.

Mrs Frederic looks at her for a moment, a flicker in time. Looks right through her. It makes Myka feel exposed. She finds it a different kind of torment to the feeling of invisibility. Something equally unsettling. And then, Mrs Frederics gaze shifts, to something over the top of Myka's head.

"Well, speak of the devil." Mrs Frederic utters, and Myka doesn't have to look over her shoulder to know that Artie is standing right behind her.

_**Earlier that morning**_

_Pete snuck up on her silently in her solitude that morning. The remnants of breakfast still matted to his hair, hot angry tears still stinging her eyes. If looks could kill, he would have been dead on the spot. She would have killed him with her bare hands for one snide remark in that moment. _

"_We've got a case, unexplained suicides in a prison, we haven't got all day, are you coming?" He said casually. _

_She could have kissed him right there, for his 'business as usual' attitude. Yet, it alarmed her on some level, this "nice" Pete who didn't taunt her relentlessly or snap at her or bicker with her. Did he think of her as too fragile? Too unstable? In a way that scared her more than the moment when she had lost her cool and smashed her plate over his head. She had to bring it back to something more natural, more normal._

"_I'm not going anywhere with you until you take a shower." She told him, as she flicked the pieces of breakfast from his hair. She forced a slight smile onto her face and blinked back the tears hoping that he hadn't noticed. _

"_Oh, well whose fault is that?" He answered playfully. _

"_I'm driving." She told him as she snatched the keys from him._

"_I don't think so, we wanna get there before Christmas." He remarked, earning him a playful punch in the arm. _

_And just like that, things were back to normal. Just like that he was her Pete again. And she was struck suddenly by the knowledge that she could never stand to lose what they had. _


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter 6 **_

Thing is, it wasn't hard to find her. Finding her had been the easiest part of all, as it turned out. The difficult thing had been to approach her. Artie had seen something in her eyes as he watched from the shadows. Desperation, disappointment, darkness. He had heard something catch in Pete's voice as he told only part of the story. It makes him feel like he doesn't really want to know. All he wants is things to go back to normal. And he hasn't the first idea how to make that happen. He feels, for the first time in a long time, utterly helpless, and that feeling does not sit well with him.

That's why he had watched her for hours before he had approached her. And only then because he had caught Mrs Frederic's eye.

"I'll leave you to it." Mrs Frederic is quick to make her exit, leaving him lost and fumbling, trying hard to maintain a confident veneer.

She takes the pressure off him by speaking first, coming straight to the point. "I can't work for you anymore, I think we both know that." She tells him matter of factly.

"We do?" He asks.

"I shot Pete." She informs him needlessly.

"Would you like to tell me about that? Pete was a little fuzzy on the details..." Artie answers.

"Details don't really matter."

"Pete is fine, by the way." Artie tells her. And he sees something flicker in her eyes at his words. But she gains her composure quickly.

"This time." She adds.

"Are you planning on shooting at him again?" Artie asks. He is trying to make light of it somehow, as if they can laugh it all off and things will be suddenly back to normal.

"What is your problem? This isn't a joke." Myka reprimands him.

"My problem is that I am very confused." He admits.

"Let me simplify it for you, Artie. I do not want to be part of this anymore."

He sighs, shaking his head slightly. "That is not new, Myka, that is the same old song you've been singing from day one. Get over it." This is not entirely true. Artie had come to believe that both she and Pete were happy and fulfilled at the warehouse. But he is trying desperately hard to remain confident. It was always the upper hand he had with Myka. He knew so much more than she, he saw the big picture. She might not have been sure about or happy about her appointment at the warehouse, be he was certain about it. That would have to be enough for them both.

"What's the big deal, agents come and go right? What does it matter to you? Find someone else." She insists.

Artie can not find an answer to her question. Try as he might the words get lost in his throat. Yes, people come and go. Yes he has lost many agents. Too damn many. Each one significant in their own way. But what he has right now, Claudia, Leena, Pete, Myka, it's different. What they have, what they share, it means something more to him. But he is not able to articulate it.

"This isn't open for discussion." He tells her calmly. "You are part of my team, end of story."

"I shot Pete! I nearly killed him!" Myka is yelling now, standing to her feet, towering over him.

"He'll get over it." Artie remarks. And he really believes it. Pete doesn't seem to harbour any ill will towards Myka about whatever happened in that jail that lead to him getting shot, to her taking off and leaving him for dead.

"There is no trust, no cohesion, in this team anymore. How can he trust me, how can you? It's dangerous."

Artie only shrugs. "These things happen in our line of work. I really think you're making far too much out of this."

"That's your answer is it? Oh well, these things happen, just forget the whole thing?" She demands to know. And for unexplainable, indefinable reasons, she sits back down opposite him.

"What is it that you want me to say, Myka?" He asks.

What she wants is for him to make it easy for her. To tell her in no uncertain terms that she let them all down, that she isn't capable of doing her job. That she has to go. And she doesn't understand why he doesn't just do it and get it over with.

"Nothing, Artie, there is nothing I want you to say." She answers finally.

Awkward silence ensues. She taps her fingers nervously on the table top. He folds his arms, sitting back in his chair, waiting. Asking himself why she is being so obstinate. She doesn't want to tell him what happened, she doesn't want him to sweep it all under the rug, and he can't quite make any sense of it. All she seems to be asking for is to get the hell out of there, and he just can't let him self believe that she really truly wants that.

"I don't trust you." She tells him quietly, refusing to look him in the eyes.

"That's not new either." He answers tiredly.

"I don't trust Pete." She adds softly. "The two of you didn't even notice the difference between me and that thing. I can see how valued I am as part of the team. And you, you're the worst, you looked right at me, right through me, and refused to acknowledge me. Claudia tried to tell you, Leena tried, I tried. It meant nothing to you. If it was left to you and Pete, I'd still be there, do you realise that? You, Artie, have broken my trust, and it can't rectified. Ever. I can't work with either of you anymore. That's all there is to it."

"I saved you." He offers feebly in his own defence. Remembering how happy he had been to see her, how she had thrown herself into his arms. How he had apologised, how he had thought he was getting somewhere.

"It was your fault I was trapped in there in the first place. I never asked for this assignment. I never asked to be stuck at that warehouse. I don't want to be part of this, I never did. You can't play God, Artie. This is my life, I want it back."

She doesn't entirely mean those words. While she had been hurt and angry at the two of them, that had been long since overshadowed with her own feelings of guilt and inadequacy. But hurling accusations at him seemed the best way to get him to back off, to get him to let her go. She doesn't really mean that she wants her life back, because she is now incapable of imagining her life outside the warehouse, away from Pete, it's out of the realms of her comprehension. Yet there was a time she felt that way, there was a part of her still angry, still hurt about the mirror, and there was a desperate darkness in her eyes that tinged the words, making her performance powerful and convincing.

"I know that I let you down, and I am unbelievably sorry." Artie tells her. She can't stand the sadness in his voice, the sincerity, the compassion. It's almost enough to break her. And she refuses to break down in front of him. She needs to stay angry, she needs to stay in control.

"Sorry isn't enough." She tells him coldly, and it takes everything in her to look him in the eyes in that moment, fire blazing in her own eyes. Righteous anger and indignation and betrayal. She knows she needs to convince him that she is angry at him, that she blames him, that she doesn't trust him anymore. That he feels bad about the situation, she has no doubt, and she feels momentarily bad using his on guilt against him. But it has to be done. There is no other way.

"I'm sorry all the same." He tells her.

He stands to his feet, conceding defeat. "If leaving is what you want..."He begins

"It is." She cuts him off before she can lose her nerve. Before the tears start falling and she can't fight off that overwhelming urge to take back her words. To tell him she is sorry, that she didn't mean it.

"Very well then." He answers.

He stops still, opens his mouth, as if he is about to say something. As if he is trying to find a way to turn back the conversation. But there is simply nothing left to say.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Chapter 7 **_

Artie reluctantly returns to the hospital later that night. He knows that he doesn't have the answers that will satisfy Claudia or Pete. He doesn't quite know how to tell them that Myka isn't coming back. That Myka doesn't want to come back. That the reason Myka doesn't want to come back is his fault. Besides, it's not his responsibility to break that news to Pete or Claudia. If Myka wants out she can tell them so herself. And so, not uncharacteristically, he is deliberately vague and succinct in his account of his meeting with Myka.

"Did you find Myka?" Pete asks the minute Artie has reappeared in the hospital room.

"Yes, yes Pete, I did." Artie answers. He gives little else away.

"And?" Pete and Claudia ask in unison.

"She's fine. I told you, don't worry about Myka." Artie assures them.

"Where is she?" Pete wants to know. What he really wants to know is- _Why isn't she here? Why did she take off leaving me in the hospital without so much as a word. _But he can't quite bring himself to say that aloud.

"She just needs some time." Artie tells them both vaguely.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Claudia asks. At the same time Pete demands to know "Time for what? How much time?"

"Enough." Artie stops the barrage of questions. He points to Claudia and puts on his best no-nonsense tone. "You – get yourself back to the warehouse first thing in the morning, there is inventory to do and you're days behind. And you-Pete, just lie there and recuperate. And hurry it up. I can't have you out of action like this for long. Leave everything else to me. Understood?"

Artie does not wait for Pete or Claudia to acknowledge their understanding before he makes his hasty exit.

Pete isn't satisfied in the least with Artie's answers. He needs to see Myka for himself. He makes a move to pull the IV from his arm, to get out of bed.

"What are you doing? You have to rest." Claudia tells him

"I need to find Myka." Pete insists.

"Someone better tell me what the hell is going on. You guys are all acting very weird."

"I just need to know she is ok." Pete answers. Suddenly he doesn't care if Claudia knows that he is worried about Myka, that he cares about her.

"Artie said she was. You don't believe him?"

"I just need to talk to her."

"You can't leave the hospital. You're injured."

"I'll be fine. Just give me a hand will you?" Pete asks.

"I'll go find Myka, I'll bring her here." Claudia offers.

The thought pleases Pete. Because his head is already spinning from the pain killers, and he isn't sure he can even stand on his feet let alone find Myka or convince her to talk to him.

"Are you sure?" Pete asks.

"Trust me, I can do it, I'll go find Myka and bring her here, just wait here."

"You don't even know where to start looking."

"Trust me, I'll find her." Claudia assures him.

And within a flash, the girl was gone.

Pete feels it instinctively that Myka is in trouble. That she needs him. He had seen that look in her eyes at the prison. He knows she still tortures herself over what happened to Sam. He wants more than anything to take that burden off her shoulders. And now that Pete looks back, even before they got to the prison, before those hallucinations started, Myka had been acting strangely. Pete doesn't think Artie realises how close to the edge Myka is. Artie hadn't been there, hadn't seen the conviction in her eyes as she held that gun to her own head. Pete felt he had been somehow protecting Myka to keep that part of the story to himself. That she wouldn't have wanted the others to know. But he wonders now if he ought to have told Artie. Myka had always built walls around her true feelings, built them up high to keep others out. And he had always been the only one who ever really saw a glimpse into the true Myka. It was up to him to reach her. But he was stranded helpless in this damn hospital bed. All he could do was wait and hope for Claudia to return.

*******

* * *

Mrs Frederic is far from pleased as Artie recounts the meeting with Myka.

"I'm afraid that is not an acceptable outcome, Arthur." Mrs Frederic informs him.

"Myka doesn't want to be part of the warehouse anymore, I can't change that." He protests.

"Change it you will." Mrs Frederic insists.

"With all due respect, Mrs Frederic, I can't see the point..."

"I didn't ask for your opinion. Myka is needed at the warehouse. You will ensure she returns to her position immediately. Thank you Arthur."

And that had been the end of that.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Chapter 8 **_

Artie sighs wearily as he stares down at Myka's file. She and Pete were two of the best agents the warehouse had ever seen. And he didn't want to lose Myka, that much was true. But on the other hand it didn't sit right with him, forcing her back to the warehouse against her will. Myka had been right- she was risking her own life every day at the warehouse- they all were. Who was Artie to stop her leaving if that's what she wanted? The incident with the mirror had frightened him too. He thinks often of what would have happened if Claudia and Leena had not been there. If Myka had been trapped inside for eternity. It was one of many possible horrific outcomes that loomed over them all. Many agents had already lost their lives, many endured a fate worse than death. It was a stark reality. Myka was right to run as fast as she could. Who could blame her for wanting out?

So troubled is he that it is quite some time before Artie asks himself the question- just why is Mrs Frederic so adamant about Myka returning to the warehouse?

As Artie closes the file in front of him, a photograph slips out onto the floor. A photo of Myka's family. While Artie knew many things about Myka, about all the agents, about their families, he had never seen a picture of Myka's parents. And he takes a moment to examine it.

The man in the photo, Myka's father, disturbs him. The man's eyes are staring back at him. He is eerily familiar to Artie. Minutes later Artie convinces himself that the man appears familiar to him because of the resemblance to Myka. That's all.

It's only much later that night, while Myka is still playing on his mind preventing him from sleeping, that the man's face flashes before him again.

Abruptly he sits bolt upright in bed as he remembers just exactly where he has seen that man before.

* * *

Myka is still sitting right there in that exact same spot hours after Artie has left her. Still nursing that same cup of coffee, now stone cold. She hasn't any intention of drinking it. She hasn't anywhere to go. She finds it unsettling- Having no where to belong, having no purpose in life. She is a part of nothing. She is no one.

She tries to make plans, with logic and reason and forward thinking. But all she sees in front of her is a brick wall. She is intelligent. Young. There are many opportunities in the world for someone such as her. But they lie too far out of her reach, obscured from view. Everything around her is oppressively dark. She feels like she is drowning. She feels like she doesn't really care much.

Fleetingly she had considered the option of visiting her parents. But she knows she can not face them right now. Things between them were strained enough at the best of times. She never felt worthy in their eyes. She never felt like she belonged. The last thing she needed was their criticism and condemnation. And yet, there was no where else to go.

She had never really longed for the security of a place to call home. But right now she feels so lost. She longs for something to ground her. She needs someone. And she can't help it that her thoughts turn to Pete. In the relatively short time they'd been partners, he had always been there for her. Always stood by her in a way she had never known anyone else to do. He was the one that kept her together, lifted her up.

She thinks back to the first days together. She had warned him then that she was hallucinating about Sam, she had warned him then that he couldn't count on her. But Pete wouldn't hear it. He was so assured of himself. He had so much faith in her, he quelled all her lingering restless fears. _"Trust me" _he had told her, and she had. But now Pete is gone, she let him down. And only now that Pete isn't around does she realise what a vital part of her existence Pete Lattimer had become.

She is startled out of her thoughts as a man approaches her table.

"Can I buy you a drink?" He asks, smiling confidently.

"I don't think so." She answers, sighing wearily. She isn't THAT desperate for company. For love.

Uninvited though he is, he sits opposite her.

"Don't you just wish you could tun back time? Undo all the mistakes. Make things right." The man muses.

She decides he is intoxicated. And abruptly gets up to leave without acknowledging him any further. There was a time she would have told him to #$%^ off, a time she would have flashed her badge or her gun or both and put him in his place. She hasn't the energy tonight. She merely walks away. He makes no move to follow her as she does so. He doesn't have to. His words are enough to stop her in her tracks.

"Agent Bering." He calls out after her. She stops, but she refuses to turn and face him. Refuses to ask him how he knew her name. If she turned now he would see in her eyes that he had caught her off guard. It would give him too much control, too much satisfaction, and instinctively she is aware that the man is bad news.

"I think you'll find we have a lot in common." He continues.

"I doubt that." She answers without turning to face him. She has started for the door again.

"I believe we could be a great help to one another." He tells her.

At this suggestion, she turns to face him, feeling suddenly bold, feeling suddenly like she can at least make a pretence of boldness. His words intrigue her.

"There is nothing you can do to help me." She tells him resolutely. She doesn't know or particularly care who he is or how he knows her name, but one thing she is certain about- he can not help her now. There is nothing anyone can do to fix up the mess she's made of her life.

"But, just imagine for a moment, if you could turn back time. If you could change that day in Denver..." His eerie voice trails off leaving the tantalising suggestion hanging between them.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Chapter 9 **_

There is something about him that inclines Myka to listen. To sit back down opposite him and consider his proposal. She tells herself she is curious, nothing more. About him, about his plans. She tells herself he is crazy, he might be a threat to the warehouse, to Pete. She tells herself she needs to listen to him, to observe him, that it might come in handy later if he did launch an attack. She needs to find out all she can about this man, and tell Artie or Pete so they can protect the warehouse. She tells herself that is all there is to it. That is the reason, and the only one, that she turned around and sat down with him.

He tells of his plans, vaguely and succinctly, which involve obtaining some particular artifacts from the Warehouse- rather involve _her _obtaining some particular artifacts from the warehouse which he claims he knows how to activate. It is the first time Myka has met a person outside of the Warehouse who even knows what the Warehouse is. She wants to ask him how he knows so much, she wants to ask who he is, how he found her. But she listens silently, observing him. He tells her that in exchange for her help he will see to it that she has the opportunity to use the artifacts for herself, to turn back time and right her own wrongs. He is deliberately evasive about his own plans for this artifact that can supposedly turn back time.

Myka can not deny, he has planted a seed with his words. Temptation has taken hold of her. She knows things are never that simple. You can not un-do mistakes, you can not bring someone back. No matter how much you want to. But his words have flicked a switch inside her head. She can't help that glimmer of hope that has been ignited when she thinks of the possibility that she could go back and save Sam.

There was a time she would have dismissed this man as crazy. _Turning back time?_-utter madness. Now, she is not so sure. Now there is that little part of her, that warehouse indoctrinated part of her, that wonders- _what if it is possible? _

Even conceding that it may be possible, she knows it is not advisable. She knows there would be unforeseen ramifications, after effects, from tearing apart the fabric of time. She knows things are best left alone. Consequences are often unpredictable and deadly. She has seen it with her own eyes. Well meaning people using artifacts for their own personal gain, it blows up in their face, time and time again, without fail. It's a bad bad bad idea. She knows it. She reminds herself of it. But still, there is that little voice in her head asking her .._'Don't you owe it to Sam? You were late, he died because of you, don't you owe it to him to at least try?" _She thinks of Claudia, of the lengths she went to save her brother. How crazy it all was. Utterly crazy. And that turned out perfectly fine. Maybe, just maybe, there is a way. Maybe some things are meant to be made right.

She closes the door on the idea of collaborating with this man, she closes it firmly and bolts it. Such an artifact in the wrong hands would have devastating consequences. And this man must know she is not desperate enough, not stupid enough, to simply hand it over to him for his own personal use. There is no way she could take responsibility for the havoc that would wreak on society, or the threat to the warehouse itself.

But she can't deny she is wondering about this artifact. She is wondering where it is in the warehouse, she is wondering what it looks like, wondering if she could find it, wondering how it works, and what would happen if she used it. Yes, he has undoubtedly planted the seed of temptation in her mind.

...

Claudia had perfected the GPS cell phone tracker for such an occasion as this. It was one of those secret projects, not something she shared with Artie, fearing his disapproval at her time wasting. She could hear his voice in her mind booming loudly- _What the hell do you need that for? If you need to find Myka or Pete, just ask me. _

She felt a little bad about it, truth be told, tracking people was kinda an invasion of privacy. But she told herself the day would come she would need to locate one or the other of them-without Artie- and she would be prepared. She knew it would come in handy one day, and lookie it did! All in all it would prove a fairly easy endeavor- provided Myka had her phone switched on and with her. She chose not to share that with Pete though- for one she didn't think he would take to kindly to the idea that she could track their whereabouts whenever she chose, and for two she didn't want him to think it was too easy. She wanted both he and Myka to recognize her as someone who had valuable contributions to make to the Warehouse, someone who could take on an impossible task and work hard to achieve it. So let him think she would have a hell of a time finding Myka, it would make her look all the more heroic in his eyes.

As she stands on the stairs at the hospital entrance and looks out into the night, it strikes her as odd that she has to use her contraption. She can not believe Myka is not here, around here somewhere, at least making sure Pete is alright. She tells herself that if she sits on the steps right there, sure enough Myka must show up. She gives her a minute. She sits, waiting, giving Myka a chance to just stroll on past, to redeem herself in Claudia's eyes. But she can't wait all night. She knows Pete won't wait. That if she doesn't bring Myka back with her, then Pete will take it upon himself to go off looking for her. And so, disappointed, she reaches for her cell phone and activates the GPS tracking program.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Chapter 10**_

Myka is only staring at the man, she refuses to speak, refuses to give anything away. For she has gathered he is sounding her out. He is waiting for her reaction. And she isn't sure just yet how she is going to play this. He has leaned in close, whispering to her, and she refuses to pull away from him, refuses to let him know she is intimidated. And so she remains still, only inches from him, staring boldly into his eyes.

As it turns out, she doesn't have to worry, as their meeting is interrupted. Neither of them see the girl approaching their table, not until she is directly upon them, slamming her palms down with enough force to send the coffee cups flying.

"Myka, what the hell?" Claudia is demanding to know, as Myka and her companion jump in shock.

The man takes this as his cue to leave. "I can see you're busy, we'll talk another time." He tells her.

Myka watches him leave, she wants to tell him to wait. She needs to find out so much more, what are his plans, how she can stop him. But he has gone, and she can hardly continue the conversation in front of Claudia in any case. Reluctantly she turns her attention in Claudia's direction.

Claudia has invited herself to sit. "Well?" She is demanding. "Are you going to answer my question?"

Myka does not take too kindly to being interrupted at her meeting, nor to the tone of Claudia's voice. "Your question?" Myka asks. "Claudia, _'What the hell?'_ is not a complete question. If you can't construct a proper sentence, then how do you expect me to answer you?" Her tone is irritated, and as with Artie, Myka finds it so much easier to fall into anger with Claudia than to have a genuine discussion.

"Oh, let me clarify it for you- What the hell is going on? What the hell are you doing here? Pete is in the hospital, you know? You shot him, remember? He is asking for you." Claudia own irritation is rising by the second.

"You don't know what you're talking about." Myka dismisses her. "Go away, Claudia." With those words, Myka stands from the table, leaving the bewildered girl sitting alone.

It's only seconds before Claudia is on her feet, following Myka out into the night, calling out after her. "Perhaps you could explain it to me. Pete is lying there injured, you know from the bullet tearing through his flesh, and he is worried sick about you, and you're just...having coffee at some diner in the middle of nowhere with a really cute guy...Nice Myka. "

Myka flinches at the image of Pete, injured at her hand. She can think of nothing to say to Claudia's words, and so she keeps walking silently.

"Are you mad at him or what?" Claudia asks, after she has caught up with Myka in the car park.

As they walk side by side, Myka answers honestly "No, I'm not mad at Pete."

"Well you did smash a plate over his head this morning. I'm just trying to put it all together here." Claudia continues.

"I was mad, now I'm over it." Myka answers. Had it only been that morning she had been having breakfast with Claudia and Pete, that things had been normal, and the only thing on her mind was her self pitying sense of anger at Pete for not recognizing Alice as an imposter? It seems like a lifetime ago.

"Got that out of your system when you shot him, did you?" Claudia asks bitterly. She was angry with Myka before she even laid eyes on her, that was true. Not so much for shooting Pete, but for running out on him, on all of them. But the lack of satisfying explanation combined with the fact Claudia can see that Myka has no intention of coming with her to see Pete, only fuels the fire of her rage.

"It was an accident Claudia, I didn't mean for Pete to get hurt." The anger is gone from Myka's voice as she utters those words. There is only sincerity and regret in her tone. That was the whole reason she was leaving the Warehouse, because Pete couldn't count on her. Because she let him down, she hurt him. She knew all too well her shortcomings, didn't need Claudia throwing them in her face.

The look in Myka's eyes, and the way her voice is shaking, is almost enough to make Claudia stop. But she can't. She can't bare to think of going back to that hospital without Myka, of failing Pete. She is finally getting somewhere, and so after a brief hesitation, she continues.

"You abandoned him. Left him for dead." Claudia accuses her.

"The paramedics were there, he was in good hands." Myka defends herself.

"You left him injured in the hospital, all alone." Claudia continues.

"He's not alone, he has you, he has Artie." Myka reminds her. _I am the one who is alone, Claudia. _That is what she wants to say.

"And yet, Pete is only asking for you. And if you don't come with me right now, he is gonna get up and come looking himself. Is that what you want?"

"Stop him." Myka tells her. As if it were that simple. As if there were anything Claudia could actually do to prevent Pete from finding Myka.

"Just come with me, just to see him, what's the big deal, what's it going to cost you to just come and see him?" Claudia genuinely wants to know.

"Forget it Claudia." Myka tells her, but her voice is wavering. Her resolve is crumbling right in front of Claudia's eyes.

"Forget it?" Claudia asks. "Pete is lying there injured. A couple of inches to the left and he would be lying dead in the morgue right now, but just forget it Claudia, nevermind." Her voice is dripping with sarcasm, with disdain. And she had deliberately made up that part about the bullet being only a few inches shy of fatal.

"Stop." Myka tells her. Myka almost begs her. She quickens her pace, she already knows the things Claudia says are true. It was a lousy thing to do, running out on Pete while he was injured. She doesn't need Claudia to tell her.

But Claudia won't stop. She only twists the knife of guilt a little deeper into Myka's heart. "Oh that's great Myka, just run away, from me, from Pete, that's just perfect. You don't even care, do you? You don't even want to see that he is ok? I used to look up to you, did you know that? I used to wish I could be just like you. Not anymore. I just don't get you." Claudia stops walking at that point. Almost defeated. There isn't much more she can say, she doesn't recognize this person as the Myka she knows, she is lost as to how to communicate with her. She stops following her, but she keeps talking, raising her voice so that Myka will hear her as she walks away into the night. " You know, if things were the other way round, if you were lying there injured, there isn't anything in the world that would keep Pete from your side. And you know it."

The angry desperate words carry across the still night air, reaching deep inside Myka and seizing her heart.

And finally, she stops running.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Chapter 11**_

Claudia doesn't know how she got through to her, she isn't even entirely sure that she did. She only knows that one minute Myka had been walking away from her, virtually running away. And the next she stopped dead in her tracks. For a moment neither of them spoke, neither moved. Until finally Myka turned around to face her.

"You don't know what you're talking about." Myka tells her again. "You don't understand anything, you're just a stupid kid and everything is so simple in your eyes." She doesn't mean to be intentionally cruel to the girl, she just wants Claudia to stop. She wants everything to stop. But the venom in her voice turns Claudia's blood to ice.

Claudia is taken aback by the undeserved attack. Why is she the one in the wrong all of a sudden? She isn't the one who shot Pete. Isn't the one who ran out and left him injured. Claudia raises her hands in defeat "Ok, whatever." She mumbles.

Myka only shakes her head silently, before getting into her car and driving off into the night.

Myka had no intention of going to see Pete. All she wanted was to get as far away as possible. But the sinking suffocating feeling creeps over her and she just can't shake it off. Claudia is right about everything. It was a lousy thing to do, to take off and leave Pete like that. Claudia is spot on, if the situation was reversed, Pete would move heaven and earth to be by her side, she knows it. She knows too that if she does not go and see him, does not make her peace with him, tell him goodbye, then yes he is going to come after her for answers. It's only fair that she gives him some sort of closure. She thinks too, about Sam. About how she would have done anything for one more chance to see him, for a chance to tell him she was sorry. And here she has that chance with Pete. She owes him an apology at least. She tells herself that if she goes to see Pete, if she faces up to what she has done to him, then maybe, just maybe, she will be able to breathe again.

…._-...

Artie plays the scene in his mind, over and over. He wonders if he is imagining things. He hasn't slept, not since the phone call informing him that Pete had been shot and Myka was missing. Perhaps he is too exhausted to think clearly? Besides, he had been distracted that day. His mind had been elsewhere. He had been shocked to find himself summoned to a regent meeting. Shocked to find what he considered far too "ordinary" people with such control over the warehouse, over him. He thinks back to the man in the far corner. The quiet, unassuming man who never said a word.

He thinks to himself that man was the spitting image of Myka's father. It puzzles him. For all intents and purposes, Myka's father was a simple book store owner. A legitimate, struggling, business man. There was nothing remarkable about him, not on paper, nothing the slightest bit "warehouse." Artie still finds himself surprised at this. He still has the expectation that the people in charge of the warehouse ought to be somehow special, despite the way he had been reprimanded at the regent meeting for voicing those very opinions.

His initial thought is this- _why didn't Myka ever mention this?_ Then reality sets in. She does not know about her fathers connection to the warehouse. How could she?

He looks back on her horror at being reassigned here, her disbelief each and every time he showed her something new, her utter disdain for the place, for everything in it. Pete had been different, like a wide eyed child, open minded, enthusiastic. Not she. She had been sceptical and belligerent from the start.

He is certain, fairly certain, that she knew nothing of the warehouse before she arrived. He feels that he knows her now. Feels he can see right through her, and she just is not capable of making such a pretence.

Mrs Frederic, on the other hand, knows all things, knowable and unknowable. And this, he feels, can not be considered a co-incidence. She must know, surely, Myka's fathers connection to the warehouse. It must mean something. Something to do with her insistence Myka returns to the warehouse, the inability to let Myka walk away.

And he is still left with one very big problem, just how is he going to persuade Myka back to the warehouse? Artie can not shake the nagging feeling of guilt that it is wrong to pull her back into a dangerous life that she wants to walk away from. After all if he forced her to return and something happened to her, that would be on him. And try though he might to remain detached, he can not deny he cares about her and Pete both.

But apart from all of that, he simply has no idea where to begin. How on earth is he going to convince her to return when she is so dead set against it? He had seen her stubborn determination at the diner. That almost self destructive gleam in her eyes. He doesn't think he has anything left to hold over her head to force her to comply with Mrs Frederic's instruction. There isn't anything he personally can do, he realises this almost instantly.

If he is to win Myka back, he is going to have to use Pete.

As for the revelation that Myka's father is one of the regents, Artie files the information away, as something interesting, although not particularly useful at this point in time. Whether it be something Myka had kept from him all along, or something he is now keeping from her, it still stands as one more obstacle between them. One more hindrance in their already strained relationship. He feels he has nothing to gain in that moment by disclosing his knowledge to anyone, and so he vows to keep it to himself for the time being.


	12. Chapter 12

_**Chapter 12**_

She stands silently in the doorway of the hospital room, watching him. He looks pale, he looks tired. His upper leg is bandaged from where the bullet struck him. She wonders how long it will be before he is able to walk independently. She wonders if there is any permanent damage. And she thanks a God that she doesn't really believe in, that the injury wasn't more serious.

He startles her out of her thoughts by calling her name. "Myka." He is undoubtedly happy to see her, his eyes light up, and relief floods his face.

"Pete." She answers him cautiously, although she does not move closer to him. And after an awkward silence she adds "Are you ok?"

He smiles, it strikes her as odd. He smiles right at her. "Yeah. Take more than that to bring me down. Be as good as new in a few days. Lucky for me you're a terrible shot."

He is joking, trying to lighten the mood to break the ice. She knows it, because she knows him, it's what he does. And he is doing it for her benefit. But she can't let herself smile back at him, not this time, she can't turn this into a joke.

"I'm sorry." Is still all she can think of to say to him. The weight of guilt is so oppressive, it leaves little room for anything else.

He looks directly at her in that moment. He catches her eye, looking deeply into her troubled gaze. He sees something that just doesn't belong there. Darkness and guilt. He sees the hideous thing he had seen in her eyes at the prison. Something he had attributed to the effects of the hallucination, something he had not expected to see now, away from that place, now that the hallucinations had resolved. He remembers the desperate determination in her eyes, the madness, the agony, as she held that gun to her own head. It frightens him, looking to her now and seeing that it's still there. He had not been expecting that.

Hallucinations- he could deal with. Freaky minerals and electrical energy, no problem. He could wrestle a gun from her in that crazy state (not altogether too successfully but it could have been worse, he supposes).

But now, something has shifted. Now it's just her. Just her, and him. And he doesn't know where to start. He wonders why it is so damn hard for her to let it go. After all, he managed. He faced his long held guilt over his fathers death. He broke free. He felt instantly lighter, as if a weight he had been carrying for all those years had dissipated. Why couldn't she just let it go? He wants more than anything to take that weight from her shoulders, and yet he senses already that he can not. That no one can, it's something she has to do for herself.

"It wasn't your fault." He tells her, this time all trace of humour has vanished from his voice, there is only sincerity.

She laughs slightly, shaking her head. He knows he will have to do better than that.

"I know." He tells her "I know that it wasn't you, Myka. I know, because I was lost inside my own head too. I saw my father, clear as day. You can't imagine what that was like for me, after all these years, to see the man standing before me. And yet, he wasn't happy to see me. He was condemning me, blaming me, as if his very death was my fault, all because I didn't warn him. And believe me, not a day has gone by that I don't ask myself that question- _why did I sit back and do nothing when I knew he was never coming home?_" Pete is talking faster and faster, telling his own story, hoping that it will be enough to keep her from turning and walking away from him. Surely she wouldn't, couldn't, walk away from him now as he is pouring his heart out to her, lying injured in a hospital bed. And sure enough, she stands mesmerised as he speaks.

"You were just a child." She tells him. And for a moment he sees her face soften, for a moment he sees a glimmer of the Myka he knows shining through.

"I know." He answers. "And deep down I know my father would never blame me for what happened. But in my own head I had constructed this scenario, all those years of guilt finally got the better of me. I know what it's like to feel guilty, to have regrets. I know the power that holds over you. But you have to let it go, Myka, before it destroys you."

"That's easy for you to say." She tells him. She doesn't elaborate, but the unspoken message is clear. _That's easy for you to say, you escaped with your life. Sam, on the other hand, was not so fortunate. _

She is standing at the foot of his bed by now, somehow inching closer to him against her will. He reaches his hand out towards her, beckoning her to come closer still, to sit beside him. He tells himself that if he can just touch her, he can make her see that he is ok, that everything is ok. That no matter how dark things seem right now, everything really will get better.

But she has learned from experience , from Sam, that it just doesn't pay to let people in, to let people touch you. Tempted as she is to hide in his embrace, she stands firm, at the foot of the bed, out of his reach. She keeps the walls built high around her. For both their sakes.

"I just came to tell you I'm sorry." She tells him.

"It wasn't your fault, it was an accident."

He is looking to her expectantly, waiting for it to sink in, waiting for her to make some sort of connection with him. And as much as she wants to give him what he wants, she knows she can not.

"I'm sorry I left you." She tells him, and she means it. She is beyond sorry. But she knows that if she had the chance to do it all again, she would not do it any differently. She hates herself for it, but it's the truth.

"I'm really glad you came back. " He tells her, realising that all his assurances that it was not her fault are not going to get him anywhere.

It strikes her as an odd thing to say. She had expected his reaction to be more like Claudia's, demanding to know what she had been thinking, taking off and leaving him like that. But if he harbours any ill will towards her, he hides it well. And Myka does not know quite what to make of that.

She feels like she can not walk away from him a second time. Feels like her feet are nailed to the floor. Something in his stare is holding her to him. And while she is still fighting the urge to sit beside him, to let him take her hand, to let him into all the things going on inside her head, she knows that she can not walk away, not this time.

And so, to bring the topic of conversation back to something more neutral, she decides that now is as good a time as any to tell him about her meeting with the man at the diner. After all, he and Artie ought to know if someone is planning to steal an artifact from the warehouse.


	13. Chapter 13

_**AN:**_ For anyone out there reading this, I hope you enjoy :) I know it's my own twisted version of the characters that is not to everyone's tastes. I mean no offence to anyone or their favourite characters. The story took on a life of it's own!

In particular this is for Kathryn0505 and Mayireadtoday for their enthusiastic comments and faithful readership despite my slackness in updating. And a big thank you to everyone reading, esp those who have taken time to comment, it makes my day :) Enjoy the story!

_**Chapter 13**_

"There is something you should know." Myka tells Pete hastily, anxious to steer the subject to more comfortable ground.

"Ok." He tells her, still smiling. She is beginning to find it unnerving.

"Someone is trying to steal something from the warehouse." She blurts out. She hasn't the time or the energy to phrase the announcement any more eloquently than that.

She sees confusion all over his face. It wasn't what he was expecting to hear. She sees him trying to keep up with the conversation.

"Who? What? Why?" He asks.

She only shrugs in response.

"What makes you think someone is trying to take something from the Warehouse?" It's a fair question.

"He told me." Myka admits to him. She feels suddenly like she should stop. Like she has done something wrong engaging in conversation with this man in the first place, by even listening to his proposal. Or perhaps by telling Pete that she is saying goodbye to that chance of going back, of saving Sam. She is beginning to regret starting the conversation at all. But it's gone too far now. There is no turning back.

"He who?"

"I don't know who, some guy." She is becoming fast frustrated with her own lack of knowledge. She can't quite bring herself to look Pete in the eye.

"Some guy told you he is gonna break into the warehouse and steal something?" Pete tries to get the story straight in his head. He is skeptical, and he makes no effort to hide it.

"Yes." The irritation in her tone is clear by this point. It was a straightforward matter, why was she having to explain it again?

"How could he know about the warehouse? And if he wanted to steal something, why would he tell you?"

"He told me because he wants me to help him get it." She explains. She feels guilt rising in her as she answers. Even though she had not agreed to help this man- She had considered it. Fleetingly. And a little part of her is grieving at the lost opportunity. And she is sure Pete can see it in her eyes- the guilt, the grief, the shame.

Before Pete can ask what exactly it is this mystery man is after, how he plans to get it, and what he wants to do with it, he looks up and sees Claudia lurking in the doorway, arms folded across her chest, unmistakable hostility in her eyes.

"Well, look who decided to make an appearance." Claudia utters bitterly with a glance in Myka's direction.

Pete can't miss the animosity in her tone. It confuses him as he looks from Claudia to Myka and back to Claudia again "Have I missed something?" He asks hesitantly. He isn't sure he wants to know. Neither of them answer him.

"Can't seem to finish a private conversation these days." Myka mutters under her breath.

She knows she was needlessly cruel to Claudia back at the diner. Claudia is perfectly within her rights to be angry. She knows she should apologise to Claudia, to Pete. She is the one in the wrong. But there really is no excuse. She can't expect forgiveness, or even understanding. Something about asking for it terrifies her. It's just giving them both an opportunity to slam the door in her face. She is tired of all of this. She wants out. Away from this place where her actions, her words, impact so deeply on the people around her. And it's so much easier hiding behind anger. She feels the resentment emanating from Claudia's direction, it's palpable. And it's justified. Just like that moment, the hallucination with Sam pointing the gun at her head. It feels so much better to her than Pete lying there, smiling at her, beckoning her close.

"Oh, I'm sorry, should I leave? No, wait. That's your thing." Claudia retorts.

"Ladies. Please." Pete tries to keep the peace. To Myka he turns, picking up the thread of the conversation "What did he look like?"

"Just a guy, kind of average." Myka answers, ignoring Claudia.

"That's it?" Pete asks incredulous.

"What more do you want?" Myka asks.

"This is you Myka, impeccable eye for detail, there must be something more than that. What aren't you telling me?"

It's true. She must have noticed more. It was the reason she sat with him in the first place. Yet it's all a blur in her head. She can see this doesn't sit right with Pete. He is looking to her like she is crazy. Like he just doesn't know who she is anymore. She can't blame him for that. And once again she finds herself longing to be _anywhere but here.  
_

"Claudia saw him." Myka blurts out, trying to divert the attention from herself.

"I don't have the faintest idea what the two of you are going on about." Claudia answers.

"The guy at the diner." Myka explains.

"Oh. You mean your date." Claudia clarifies.

"He wasn't my date." Myka assures them both.

"Looked pretty cosy from where I was standing." Claudia remarks antagonistically.

"Claudia, what did he look like?" Pete tries to keep to the topic at hand. Though something stirs in him at Claudia's suggestion that Myka was romantically involved with this man.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Are you asking me for help? Me? I'm just a stupid kid, don't you know?" Claudia asks sarcastically.

Myka shakes her head wearily. But refuses to apologise. It's all too little too late. Let Claudia have her moment of righteous indignation if it made her feel better.

"What the hell has gotten into you?" Pete demands. "Yes, I'm asking you what the guy looked like."

"I dunno. Just a guy. What's the big deal?" Claudia asks.

"He is trying to get to the warehouse." Pete explains

"What for?" She asks.

Pete looks to Myka "Did he happen to say what he wanted from the warehouse?"

"He was pretty vague about the details." Myka admits.

Pete and Claudia both are looking to her expectantly, they know there is more to it.

"He did imply it was some sort of time traveling artifact." She finishes reluctantly.

"A time machine?" Claudia asks, awed. "We have a time machine?"

Myka shrugs "Something like that."

"What does he want it for?" Pete asks

"Who wouldn't want it!" Claudia exclaims. Her head is already spinning with the possibilities of what she would use such an artifact for.

"He didn't say. That's really all there is to it." Myka tells them dismissively. "So i'll leave it with you. I have to get going." She turns towards to door. Claudia steps aside to let her pass.

"Hey!" Pete calls out, shouting. Myka stops. She turns to look at him, so caught off guard by the volume of his protest. "Not so fast. Where are you going?" Pete's heart is racing. He heard the catch in her voice. She doesn't mean she is going home for the night. She means _going for good, never looking back._

"Save your breath, let her go if she wants to." Claudia interjects. "She doesn't give a shit about the warehouse anymore or about us."

Myka doesn't bother protesting that she does in fact care. Who would believe her after all this?

"Enough Claudia!" Pete exclaims, then he turns to Myka and asks "Does Artie know about this guy?"

"No, he doesn't. I have to go, Pete. I told you everything I know, you tell Artie. I'm sure you'll sort it all out."

"Don't do this to me, not today, please." Pete pleads helplessly.

Myka stops, because she finds she hasn't any power to refuse him. Not when he is lying there injured at her hand. Not when he is pleading with her. Not when she has already let him down so badly so many times. She stops and considers what he is saying to her.

"You can't just take off like that. This guy might contact you again. Or he might come here after me, after Claudia. I'm stuck here until tomorrow. I have to have surgery, to remove bullet fragments from the wound." He puts on his best wounded puppy dog face, the one it's impossible to resist.

Myka sighs, he is playing on he sympathy, manipulating her. She knows it. Knows it because she has seen him in worse situations before and he has never even blinked. It was minor surgery, he would be fine. She tells herself that. But she still can't walk away from him.

Pete continues "After that, i'll get out of here, we'll work something out. Together. I promise. For now, I will tell Artie what you told me, and the two of you just go back to the motel. I won't get any rest unless I know where you both are and that you're safe. We don't know who this guy is, what lengths he will go to. It's been a hell of a day, Please. Just do this one thing for me. Both of you."

Claudia is insulted by the implication that she needs Myka to keep her out of trouble. " I can take care of myself." She protests, not relishing the idea of spending the night alone with Myka after their earlier confrontation.

"I don't doubt that either of you are capable of taking care of yourselves. Please, just humor me. I'm injured. Have pity on me and do what I tell you to, just this one. I have a bad vibe." Pete finishes ominously.

"Seriously?" Claudia asks.

He nods.

It's true, he has a bad bad feeling. But he doesn't think it's anything to do with the warehouse, time traveling artifacts, or mysterious strangers. It's Myka. It's that look in her eyes. And that feeling of dread striking through his own heart knowing somehow that if he lets her walk away right now, he wont ever see her again. And that even if he can manage to get her to stick around, she is vanishing right before his very eyes, piece by piece. He doesn't know how to reach her, how to save her. He is afraid.

Claudia sees it in his eyes, that fear. Pete knows it because when their eyes meet he sees it reflected in her own gaze. It troubles her to see him so afraid.

"Ok, if it means that much to you. But I really think you should just chill out. Take some more pain killers. " Claudia is the first to give in to his demands. Though she makes it clear she is doing it for his benefit only, and not because she herself perceives it to be necessary.

"Myka?" He asks.

"Ok." She concedes. It was just one night. It wasn't much to ask. He was injured, couldn't leave the hospital. And he had a point, she couldn't just leave Claudia alone in a strange city, not with that guy out there, a guy who had seen Claudia already, and may have even followed them to the hospital.

It was just one night. Still plenty of time to run away, tomorrow.


	14. Chapter 14

_**Chapter 14.**_

Myka watches on, awkwardly, as Claudia embraces Pete to say goodbye. It seems to come so naturally. They seem so close, they seem like family. A family she no longer considers herself a part of. She has never felt more of an outsider than right in that moment. It's that exact same feeling of displacement that echoed throughout the entirety of her childhood.

After the fond farewell, Claudia leaves the hospital room, announcing that she will wait downstairs. Pete waits, until he is fairly certain Claudia is out of earshot, before he speaks.

"She's just a kid, don't let her get to you. She'll get over it."

Myka nods, silently. Thing is, Claudia wasn't that far off the mark. But she smiles reassuringly at Pete, she tries to smile, at least. Of all the things bugging her right now, she considers Claudia Donovan pretty low down on the list.

"Promise me one thing." Pete asks of her, in a soft voice.

She knows she can't promise him anything, as much as she would like to promise him the world. He extends his hand towards her from where he lay in that hospital bed. This time she inches closer to him. As if she is no longer in control of her feet. She comes close enough for him to take her hand in his own, but she is careful to come no closer than that.

And he wants to ask the world of her. Wants to ask her never to leave him again, wants to ask her to open up to him and tell him what's really bothering her, wants her to discard all that guilt hanging over her, shake it off forever. He wants things to go back to normal, to put all this behind them and move forward. But he knows he is asking too much.

"Come back. Tomorrow. To see me." He finishes.

She nods in agreement. She doesn't speak, because she is afraid she might cry. He isn't asking much. He has never asked much from her. It doesn't seem like such a huge promise to make. And she isn't getting out of there until she agrees to his terms. Besides, if she doesn't keep her word- well what's one more broken promise after everything else she's done to him?

"Bring cookies." He adds mischievously, winking at her.

She smiles at him then, a genuine, infectious smile, in spite of herself. He realises in that moment that he hasn't seen her smile like that for a long time, it suits her.

"You're pretty when you smile." He can't help it, the words just slip out.

"You've had too many pain killers." She tells him, as she pulls her hand away from his grasp.

He feels empty, alone, now that she is no longer touching him.

He wants to tell her he means it. He means everything he has said to her, means it with all his heart more than he has ever meant anything. But he knows enough to see that the intensity of such a claim would only frighten her away at this point.

"See you tomorrow?" He asks.

"Tomorrow." She confirms, as she turns and walks away.

He isn't entirely certain that he believes her.

* * *

Later that night, Pete relays the story to Artie via the Farnsworth, exactly as Myka had told it to him. He tells of the mysterious stranger planning to take some sort of time machine artifact from the Warehouse.

"Time machine?" Artie scoffs. "There is no time machine in the Warehouse."

"Are you sure?" Pete asks.

"I would know if we had a time machine, yes."

"So there is nothing like that in the Warehouse? Maybe this guy is just crazy then, just winding us up." Pete speculates.

"There are plenty of things _similar _to a time machine. There is more than one way to change the events of history, alter the course of the future, without technically traveling back and forward _through_ time. It's rather complex." Artie's voice trails off. "You said that Myka told you this? Is she there with you?"

"She's back at the motel, with Claudia."

"With Claudia? I could have sworn I told her to get back to the Warehouse pronto!" Artie exclaims.

"Give her a break. It's been a rough day."

"Did Myka say anything to you about leaving the Warehouse?" Artie asks.

Pete isn't altogether surprised by Artie's question.

"She didn't specifically _say_ it." But Pete had seen it in her eyes, that she wanted to run.

"She told me she was leaving. Effectively immediately. That she didn't want to be part of this anymore."

"She probably didn't really mean it." Pete tries to convince himself as much as Artie.

"She was rather convincing. She said it was because of the incident with the looking glass."

"It freaked her out, that's understandable, She'll get past it." Pete assures him.

"Not just that. It's because she doesn't trust me anymore, or you for that matter. Because we didn't even realise that 'Alice' had taken her place. She was pretty angry. And I can't say that I really blame her."

Pete is momentarily stunned into silence. He thought he had a fairly firm grasp over what was bothering Myka. That it was the thing with Sam, compounded by the hallucinations at the prison. And then his accidentally getting shot on top of everything. It hadn't occurred to him for a second that she was angry at him, that she felt betrayed by him, that he had hurt her so deeply.

"But it's a good thing she came to see you." Artie continues. "I'm counting on you to change her mind."

* * *

"Funny, isn't it?" Claudia remarks, breaking the awkward silence in the way too tiny motel room.

"What is?" Myka takes the bait, wondering what on earth Claudia could possibly find amusing about the situation. Anything seems better than the tense silence that has taken over the room.

"That he knew." Claudia announces cryptically.

"Who knew what?" Myka doesn't really want to know, but the silence is unnerving to say the least.

"That guy, the one you claim is trying to get into the Warehouse. Funny that he knew before I did that you weren't really one of us any more, that you didn't want to be. I mean, why else would he approach you and ask you to help him?" Claudia postulates.

The words slice through Myka's heart. The truth of it all, the horrible truth. She isn't really one of them anymore. And even this man, this stranger, knew it. Myka doesn't make a reply. What is there to say? She isn't going to win this argument. She would have been better to continue with the awkward silence.

"Am I wrong?" Claudia asks innocently. "You weren't ever planning on coming back, were you? Artie was all like _'I don't know where Myka is, stop asking questions.' _And If I hadn't come looking for you at that diner, would we have ever seen you again?"

"No, Claudia, you're not wrong." Myka admits boldly. It's true, she had walked away. It's true, she had no intention of returning. No point in hiding it now.

This time, it's Claudia who doesn't have an answer. As if she had been expecting Myka to vehemently deny all of it. To protest that- yes- Claudia was wrong. This was all a horrid misunderstanding. To explain everything away and justify it all. To reassure her that, No, she isn't leaving the warehouse, because it's her family, her life, and she could never just walk away without so much as goodbye.

But Myka says nothing like that. She says nothing further at all. She only silently slips outside onto the balcony, leaving a bewildered Claudia standing in stunned silence.

* * *

"I was hoping this would happen." Mrs Frederic states cryptically as Artie informs her about the situation over the Farnsworth.

"You were hoping someone would launch an attack on the Warehouse to steal artifacts for their own agenda, wreaking possible destruction on the entire world?" Artie asks.

"I was hoping they would make contact with her." She explains.

Artie notices it as odd immediately, the way Mrs Frederic said '_her'_ and not '_one of them'_. As in, specifically, Myka.

"What do you want us to do?" Artie wants to know.

"Advise Agent Bering that she is instructed to play along. Sbe is to make him believe she is on his side. It may just be the only way to catch them out."

"Them who?" Artie asks, but he knows better than to expect a straight answer.

* * *

Alone on the balcony in the stillness of the cold night, Myka reflects on Claudia's words. It hadn't occurred to her, until Claudia so kindly threw it in her face, to wonder why she had been picked by this man. Why not Pete? Leena? Claudia herself? Was it that obvious even to an outsider that she was the weakest link in the chain? The most likely to betray everything she worked so hard to achieve, everything she believed in? Had her reputation with Sam preceded her, making her out as someone who breaks the rules? Someone reckless and self serving? Someone likely to betray her team? She takes it one step further in her already messed up mind- and asks herself if that was why she had been recruited to the Warehouse in the first place? As some kind of bait in a trap? Or, she even goes so far to ask herself this- Was it a trap intended for her?


	15. Chapter 15

_**Chapter 15**_

Claudia thinks twice about answering her cell phone when she notices that it's Artie calling from the Warehouse. After all, she had disobeyed his direct order to get back to the warehouse and catch up on the inventory. When she eventually does answer, she is mildly surprised to find that he makes no mention of that matter. Actually, all he wants to know is if Myka is there and can he speak to her.

"Dude, call _her_ phone. I'm not her secretary." Claudia is beginning to feel redundant. Invisible. And it strikes her as unfair. After all she isn't the one who shot Pete, the one who took off without so much as goodbye.

"I _did_ call her phone. Several times. She didn't answer it. Is she there or not?" Artie is growing fast frustrated, but his insistent tone does little to make Claudia comply with his request. It only heightens her antagonism towards him and Myka both.

"Get a clue, Artie, she doesn't want to talk to you. I wouldn't bother with her either if I was you. Seriously, what is wrong with you guys? It's pretty clear what she thinks about us. Let her go if she wants to. We don't need her."

"Do I detect some hostility in your tone?" Artie asks.

"I'm not hostile" She vehemently protests. "I just don't care. And why should I? She doesn't care about us. She wants to take off? Good for her, good riddance, I say."

"Claudia." Artie begins. But his tone isn't frustrated and authoritative as she had been expecting. It's soft, sincere, almost hesitant. "May I remind you that it was you, that day when Myka was trapped in that looking glass, it was you who took one look at her and recognised her instantly. It was you who saw straight away the thing that I couldn't see, that I refused to see. You were the one who looked deeply enough to see the truth."

"Are you losing your faculties in your old age? Because you're not making a bit of sense." Claudia isn't following Artie's train of thought.

"I understand it's been a stressful day, I understand you're upset..." Artie tells her.

"Am not." Claudia insists.

"Look again Claudia, look a little bit closer next time you look at Myka. You might just find things aren't quite as they seem to be." He finishes.

She doesn't really know what to make of his advice. "Whatever." She utters dismissively. To end the irritating lecture from Artie, she does comply with his request, and takes the cell phone out to Myka on the balcony.

"Phone for you. It's Artie." She says a little too politely, too falsely.

"Thank you so much." Myka echoes the insincerity in her reply.

Claudia lingers in the doorway, eavesdropping, hearing only Myka's side of the phone conversation.

"No way, Artie. … I told you already I'm not doing this anymore...You agreed with me...I'm sure someone else can...No. No way..." This was followed by a long pause, before Myka spoke bitterly "Fine. But this is the last time." And with those words, Myka hung up without saying goodbye.

As Claudia watches on, realising minute by minute how cold it is outside, she wonders if Myka is ignoring her presence or if she doesn't even realise Claudia is standing there.

"I need my phone back." Claudia says finally.

"Take it." Myka tells her, bitter smile creeping across her face as her outstretched hand offers Claudia the cell phone.

Claudia does take it, shivering as Myka's icy fingers brush over her own. Myka turns her head away, lost in her own thoughts.

"It's kind of freezing out here." Claudia remarks, for lack of anything else to say. She just can't bring herself to turn and go inside, leaving Myka sitting there staring blankly out into the darkness of the unfamiliar city.

"You better go back inside then." Myka retorts without turning to face the girl.

"Is the idea of being stuck in the motel room with me that detestable to you?" Claudia asks, as she sits down beside Myka, arms folded defiantly across her chest.

"Not everything is about you, Claudia." Myka answers.

_Look again Claudia_, Artie had told her, _look closer._ And she does.

She looks, but she can't make sense of what she sees. She can't understand why Myka is so angry. So defensive. Why Myka is so determined to leave them all behind without so much as goodbye. But when she pushes aside her confusion, her own resentment, she sees something very wrong. She sees something very broken. It causes her breath to catch in her throat. But there is still nothing she can do, not if Myka won't let her.

"Fine, freeze to death out here, see if I care." Claudia falls into their familiar roles, being powerless to know what else to say at this juncture. But even as her sentiments are bitter, her tone of voice is not. It's laden with regret, with sadness. And it's something in the desperation of Claudia's voice that inclines Myka to turn towards her.

"I'm sorry, Claudia." Myka whispers the apology so quietly in the darkness that Claudia isn't entirely certain she heard correctly.

"Yeah me to." Claudia replies.

"Don't be." Myka tells her. "The things you said were perfectly true."

"Maybe the things you said were true too. I don't really know what I'm talking about. I am just a stupid kid sometimes. I should have kept my mouth shut."

"You're far from stupid, Claudia, and you don't need me to tell you that. You care about Pete, he is lucky to have you. You don't have anything to apologise for."

Claudia wants to tell Myka that- yes- sometimes she really does need to hear her say it. She wants to say that- yes- she cares about Pete. But she cares about her too. That she doesn't want her to leave. She wants to ask Myka why she would even want to leave them? Wants to ask what happened at the prison, how Pete got shot? How she could have walked away and left him there? Why she came back? But she can't find the words.

Instead, Claudia finds herself asking this "What are you doing out here, anyway?"

"Just thinking."

"Pete's gonna be fine." Claudia assures her.

"I'm know. I'm not thinking about Pete." Myka confesses, but not in that "_mind your own business_" sort of tone so typical of Myka lately. Somehow the comment was screaming out for Claudia to ask the next obvious question.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Joshua." Myka answers.

That was the last thing Claudia had been expecting, and she can't hide her surprise. "Joshua? My brother? Why? Dude, you're not saying that you and my brother had a thing..."

"No!" Myka protests. Adamantly. They both smile, the ice finally broken between them. "I mean, I'm sure he's a lovely guy...'

"He is." Claudia insists, adoration evident in her voice. "Why are you thinking about my brother?"

"People thought you were crazy, all those years." Myka muses.

"No kidding."

"But you never gave up on him. You would have risked anything for him, gone to any lengths, to bring him back, wouldn't you?" She asks.

"He gave up the best years of his life for me, gave me everything, I owed him. I love him." Claudia answers, almost defensively.

"You'd do it again." Myka states rather than asks.

"In a heartbeat." Claudia answers decisively. But she is still mightily confused. What does this have to do with anything?

"You risked your own health, your life, you expected Artie to risk everything as well, because you held him accountable for losing Joshua in the first place." Myka continues.

Claudia shifts uncomfortably under the weight of that accusation. Yes she had risked everything, and yes she expected Artie to do the same. But that was before. Before Artie became like family to her. She wonders, sometimes, if she had to make a choice- _Joshua or Artie-_ which one she would choose?

"It's not a criticism." Myka assures her quickly. "I admire you immensely. You achieved the impossible. I just want to know one thing. How did you know that it would work out? That Joshua would come back, that he would be ok, that you and Artie would be ok, that it would all be worth it in the end?"

"I didn't know." Claudia admits, still not understanding at all where the conversation is coming from. "I just knew I couldn't live with myself if I didn't try. I didn't have the first idea if things would work out, for any of us. And honestly, I really didn't care."

.


	16. Chapter 16

_**This is goodbye- Chapter 16 **_

Myka only nods slowly, as if she is agreeing. As if Claudia's words mean something significant to her. Claudia is confused. About a great many things. And so she says nothing further. She can't quite make the connections.

Myka thinks it over. Joshua- trapped all that time, waiting for someone to come along, to save him, to give him another chance. And it all turned out so happily. She knows that it's a simplistic outlook. It is not likely things will go that way for her, for Sam. She is aware there will be consequences beyond anything she can imagine. But just for a moment, she allows herself to imagine it.

Myka can not honestly claim that she wants it enough to go ahead and try it with no thought to the consequences- for her, for the warehouse, for the world. She isn't _that _driven. Not in the desperate, determined, hell bent kind of way that Claudia had been driven to save her brother. How much does it really mean to her, this quest to bring Sam back? The fact that she even has to stop and ask herself about it speaks volumes. Not like Claudia. Claudia who never asked twice, never showed even a moments hesitation. Claudia had been driven by something entirely different. And Myka finds herself wishing that she could be more like Claudia. That she could be so easily caught up, so passionate, without stopping to give consideration to the countless other factors that demanded her attention.

If she is brutally honest with herself, it's not Sam at all who is calling out to her.. She scarcely remembers what Sam had looked like. The man himself had been fading day by day, leaving behind a tangled mess of guilt and grief enveloping her, suffocating her, tightening it's hold over her. It's the abstract idea of Sam, the dark cloud hanging over her own head, her own need to set things right- That's the thing calling to her.

"Myka?" Claudia asks, after minutes of disconcerting silence. It's a question, undoubtedly, once again frustratingly incomplete. Claudia is asking something, something she is not able to articulate. Something Myka couldn't answer even if Claudia had been able to find the words.

Myka feels torn, like she doesn't know whose side she is on anymore. Like she is playing them both. She tries very hard to look at the girl sitting next to her, shivering in the cold. She thinks of Pete, lying pathetically in that hospital bad. She thinks of Artie, and grudgingly admits he has become like a father to her. It was this team, these people, that she made a difference to. The people who were still here for her, after everything that happened. These are the people she owes something to, these are _her_ people, the side she is undoubtedly, unmistakably on. She just has to keep reminding herself of that.

"You're right, it's freezing, lets go inside." Myka finally says, snapping out of the trance like state. She smiles reassuringly as she stands to her feet, trying to pretend that nothing is out of the ordinary, as she takes the girl by the hand leading her inside.

* * *

As he lays in that hospital bed, Pete thinks over the things Artie told him. Myka was angry at him? At them both?

That takes him by surprise. He thinks back to that morning, subconsciously his hand drifts to his head as he feels a dull throbbing ache at the recollection of her viciously smashing that plate. He had not seen that coming, either. He thinks over his thoughtless comments. He thinks what it must have been like for her. Terrifying- he is certain. But it was over. He had assumed it was all behind them. And he had not, for a moment, considered that he might have let her down, that she might be angry at him, that he might be partly responsible for that vacant empty stare in her eyes. He closes his eyes, and tries in vain to fall asleep.

* * *

"Pete?" Claudia asks cautiously as she answers the phone at 2am. It was super late for him to be calling. "Is everything ok?"

"Is Myka there?" Pete asks, without so much as a _'Hello Claudia'. _

Claudia has to hold back her frustration. Even though she and Myka have forged a tenuous truce, she is still getting mightily sick of taking Myka's phone calls.

"This is _Claudia's_ phone" She announces slowly, hoping that the underlying message will sink in.

"I tried Myka's phone, she didn't answer." Pete explains.

"That's because she's asleep."

"Wake her." He insists.

"Why?" Claudia asks.

"Because I said so." Is his reason.

"Because you said so?" Claudia scoffs. "I don't think so. Give me one good reason why I should do anything for you when you can't even be bothered to say 'hello' to me when you ring MY phone looking for Myka. Of course you can't tell me whatever it is that prompts you to wake me up at 2am, because i'm just a dumb kid, right? No use to you at all, no use to anyone..."

"I'm sorry. Forget it.." He surrenders. Upon reflection he hasn't the heart to wake Myka, he thinks of her sleeping peacefully, and knows how foolish it will seem to her if he wakes her up just to ease his own conscience. It bothers him a little though, not being able to reach her any time he wanted. She had always been there, day or night, and he for her. "It can wait til the morning."

"It _is_ the morning." Claudia tells him.

"Is Myka mad at me?" He blurts out without meaning to. Its not exactly what he wants to know. Looking back to the breakfast incident he is fairly certain she had been mad. What he really wants to know is how to fix it. Or at least some reassurance that he _can_ fix it.

"I don't think so." Claudia answers him sincerely, somewhat pleased that someone at least is talking to her like her opinion is worth something. She hears the torment in his voice, and she wants to tell him what he wants to hear. She just isn't sure what to say anymore. She can't pretend she understands the first thing about Myka or what she is thinking these days. Let alone what has happened between them, the breakfast incident, the shooting, Myka taking off leaving Pete for dead. "Ask her." Is all Claudia can tell him.

"It was a stupid joke, I didn't mean it."

"Uhuh. Well it's no use telling me." Claudia points out.

"Would you be mad? I mean lets say someone took over your identity, and there was this fake Claudia wandering around the Warehouse, looking just like you, and I didn't realise the difference, would that bother you? I mean that wouldn't be my fault, it looked just like you, talked just like you. What's a guy like me to do?"

Claudia thinks it would sting a little to find she was so replaceable. But invisible is pretty much how she feels all the time lately. She would hardly expect anyone to notice if she vanished off the face of the earth, doppelganger or no. But hell yes, she'd be more than a little angry. She just isn't sure that's what Pete wants to hear. "What makes you think she's mad?"

"She smashed that plate on my head." He offers.

"Yeah, aside from that?"

"Artie told me that Myka is mad at both of us. That she doesn't trust us anymore. That she wants to leave the Warehouse." Why he is confiding in Claudia is isn't certain. She's there for one thing. She is there talking to him at 2am, she is there with Myka when he can't be. And because, surely, it can't make anything any worse.

"Well at least it's not just you, right? She's mad at Artie too." Claudia tries her best to reassure him. "Ok maybe I asked myself how on earth you could have mistaken that thing for Myka for all those hours..."

"Come on, it looked just like her!" He protests. This isn't going at all as he planned, he had been expecting Claudia to come down on his side, to tell him that of course it wasn't any fault of his, that Myka was over reacting, that she would get over it. Especially given the way Myka and Claudia both had been acting towards one another in the hospital, the last thing he had expected was Claudia to defend Myka.

Claudia continues "..But Artie was the one who was right there, looking straight at her in that mirror. He refused to speak to her, refused to acknowledge her. He was convinced that she wasn't Myka. Convinced instantly without giving her a chance. And I didn't understand how he could be. Because I took one look and I knew- that was Myka. I recognised her, I recognised that look in her eyes. Ask Leena- Leena saw it too. I like to think if you were there- you would have seen it also. So, I think she's probably more mad at Artie than anyone, and he probably deserves it a little."

"It wasn't Artie's head she smashed a plate over." Pete tells her. Silently he adds to the list..._It wasn't Artie who was her partner, Artie who was supposed to have her back, Artie she was supposed to be able to trust with her life, It wasn't Artie who should have known better._

"It wasn't Artie who made such a stupid comment at the breakfast table." Claudia reprimands him.

He isn't sure where Claudia is coming from, is she defending him? Defending Myka? Defending Artie?

"How can I make it up to her?" Pete comes out and asks the burning question, because he's come this far, and has nothing to lose.

"I don't know, Ask her. I wouldn't dare presume to speak on her behalf."

"Thanks so much, glad we had this little talk, fat lot of help you are." He utters sarcastically. He knows he isn't being entirely fair. It's not Claudia he is frustrated with. He knows so much better than to turn his frustration on her.

"Sor-ry. But I don't remember being appointed as your relationship advisor." She responds.

She hears Pete sigh wearily on the other end of the phone. She isn't being deliberately evasive, she really has no answer for him. It isn't her place to answer him. It frustrates her that he is taking it out on her, but she hears the distress in his voice. She wants to say something to make him feel better. "Don't worry about it, if she's mad she'll get over it. Anyway, she shot you, so doesn't that make you guys kind of even now?"

Pete hasn't got an answer for that. He shakes his head. He almost hangs up, but first he softens his tone and asks her. "So, you guys are ok?"

"Sure. You think we can't survive one night without you to protect us?" Claudia challenges him defensively, her own pride wounded.

"No, that's not what I think at all." He replies.

It occurs to Claudia only then, as she hears the catch in Pete's voice, as she thinks over Myka's strange behaviour, Pete's pleading for them to stay together, It finally hits her that it was never her own safety he was concerned about, that he was worried about Myka.

"Something is really not right. With Myka." Claudia tells him. She knows she doesn't need to tell him, she knows he sees it too.

"She'll be ok, just give her a break. Be nice."

"I AM nice!" Claudia protests. "But are you sure that mirror didn't do something to her? Are you sure there isn't some weird artifact affecting her? Because she is acting mighty strange."

"Strange how?" Pete asks.

"Strange how? She smashed a plate on your head, she shot you, she took off left you for dead..."

"I deserved that, It was an accident, and it's complicated." He answers.

"She just isn't herself. It's like an artifact has some kind of power over her. Like something has sucked all the light from her eyes." Claudia muses.

"Not everything is the fault of an artifact." Pete explains. "Sometimes that's just life. She 'll be ok, she just needs time." Pete tries to convince himself as much as Claudia.

"That's what Artie said." Claudia reminds him. "That's exactly what Artie said, and that's a little scary, you're starting to sound just like him."

They both laugh a little at her insult, as if nothing is out of the ordinary, before saying goodnight and hanging up the phone.


	17. Chapter 17

_**Chapter 17**_

Myka is tossing and turning fitfully in her sleep, trapped inside a nightmare.

_She is chasing herself deeper and deeper through an endless maze of mirrors. She turns abruptly, only to find her own reflection staring back at her at every corner- laughing callously. _

_In her confusion and frustration, her intense desire to escape the horror, she smashes the mirrors to pieces, one by one. With only her bare hands she strikes out against the walls of glass surrounding her. As if she can destroy every last insidious thing she despises about herself by destroying those reflections. As if the thing that would be left would be somehow pure. _

_The pain is real. She is certain she feels every shard of glass as it slices into her flesh. And it feels, surprisingly, good. It feels somehow satisfying to see that bright blood trickling down around her fingers. _

_That's when she feels the hand on her shoulder. That's when the glimmer of relief falls over her to find she isn't alone with only shadows of herself for company. She spins around hastily, and finds herself face to face with the man from the diner._

_Before she can react, he has reached out, his unfamiliar hands tightening around her neck. She stands passively as he presses down firmly. She grows faint and a perverse sense of calm settles over her as she is gasping for her last breath. She feels the tightness in her chest, the constricting hands around her throat. She can't breathe. She takes one last look into his eyes, she can make no sense of the thing she sees. And then, everything goes black._

_As she opens her eyes, she tells herself it was all a dream. But she knows before she sees it that something isn't right. There is the unmistakable stench of death in the air. It's dark and it takes a moment for her eyes to adjust. She isn't alone. She can't quite make out the obscured figure lying on the ground beside her._

_She looks at him, and she sees Sam. Lying there, lifeless. She looks again a moment later- she sees Pete. _

_She hears the gunshot ringing in her ears, over and over. She reaches over to him. She is calling his name, She is calling Pete, she is calling Sam. She doesn't know who it is. Only that this is her fault. Only that she has to save him._

_She sinks to her knees beside him, blood pooling around her. She reaches for his hand. The fingers are cold and lifeless as they brush against her own. It causes shivers down her spine. She locks her fingers with his, wishing only that wherever he has gone, he could take her with him. _

_She still can't see his face. She leans closer. That's when someone grasps her from behind. She feels the arms around her pulling her away. That's when she hears the voice in her ear. It takes her a moment to recognise the voice as her father. He is shouting at her, but he is making no sense. She pulls away violently from his grasp. When she turns angrily to confront him, she finds that her father has vanished. _

_She turns her attention back to the lifeless figure on the ground. A glimmer of light shines in the darkened place, enough to dispell the darkness, enough for her to make out the features on the man's face. Pete. Her heart stops beating as she stares down at him in horror. As she stares down at the gun that is burning a hole in her hand, and realises that she did this to him. _

_A flicker of light catches her attention. She turns her gaze towards the looking glass. And staring right back at her, in place of her own reflection, is Pete._

_She calls out to him, as she stands blood stained and dishevelled, tears falling freely. She screams his name. She bangs her fists against the glass. She fixes her gaze on him, refusing to look down at the dead Pete on the ground. _

_Looking glass Pete looks right back at her. He makes no sound, he makes no move. _

_He hears her, she knows he does. He sees her. But he remains unaffected. He stands there, just smiling right at her. He shrugs helplessly. ..._

And when she is abruptly thrown from sleep, she sits bolt upright, still screaming Pete's name.

She wakes to find Claudia's hand on her shoulder, gently shaking her, looking at her as if she has two heads.

Irritated at the intrusion, she shrugs the girls hand away. Abruptly she dismisses Claudia's queries as to if she is ok. Obviously she has not been abrupt enough, though. As the girl is still sitting on the edge of the motel bed, looking to her expectantly. Something like pity in her eyes.

She had fallen asleep in her clothes, utterly exhausted and too weary to bother changing. She is still trembling, she can't stop. She tells herself it's from the cold.

She has learned an important lesson- She must not sleep. No matter how long and tormenting the night hours were, to sleep – and dream- was so much worse. A glance at the clock tells her it's 4am. She closes her eyes, she longs for Pete. Just to hear his voice, to know he was ok. The way his voice could settle her as it always did. But she knows she can't wake him as he lays in his hospital bed just to quell her own ridiculous terror. And as much as she needs him, she reminds herself that he almost died yesterday because of her. He is better off without her. And besides, she is the one who walked away from him. She pushes all thought of Pete from her mind. At least, she tries to. It's a little hard to do when Claudia's next words are...

"Pete's ok you know. You were calling out for him in your sleep."

"I don't remember." Myka answers dismissively. Making it clear she does not want to talk about Pete, or her nightmare, or anything at all. She wants only to be left alone in her misery without curious disappointed eyes scrutinizing her every move. Just like that, they are back to square one. She knows that Claudia means well, but she also knows that if Claudia doesn't back off soon, she will say something she is going to regret.

"Pete called before." Claudia keeps talking, and Myka thinks to herself that it takes some resilience to keep on talking when she is so obviously about to bite her head off.

"Pete called? When? Is he ok?" Myka asks.

Now that Claudia has Myka's attention, she doesn't quite know how to continue.

"He's ok. You were asleep, he said it could wait til morning."

"Oh." Myka nods.

"He wanted to know if you were mad at him." Claudia continues, because she can't see the harm in it. Because she wants to make conversation, she wants to reach out and connect. And she doesn't quite know how to tell Myka that Pete is worried sick about her, that they both are. That she is terrified by that distant look in her eyes. "He thinks you're mad at him, about the mirror thing. He wanted to know how to make it up to you. It was kind of cute."

"What'd you tell him?" Myka asks, somewhat relieved that the focus of Claudia's attention has shifted.

Claudia hesitates a moment before she answers. "I told him that since you shot him it probably made you even, so he shouldn't lose any sleep over it." She isn't sure why she said it, why she is so casually joking about the shooting, when she knows Myka is in no mood for jokes. She is only really trying to keep the conversation going.

It may have been the sleep deprivation, but Myka finds that immensely amusing, far more so than Pete had. And much to Claudia's surprise and relief, she can't help but laugh out loud.


	18. Chapter 18

_**Chapter 18**_

Artie tells himself that things are returning to normal as everyone returns to the B&B the following day. But there is still something unsettling hanging over them all. Everyone is a little on edge.

Pete is limping around. He is a little quiet, a little subdued. Under other circumstances he may have made the most of the injury, hobbling around pathetically demanding that people bring him anything his little heart desired. But his injury, the shooting, isn't mentioned. By anyone. And he quietly makes the best of it- as he is more than capable of doing.

Myka is quiet also, though it's not altogether unusual for her. At least she is home, and she hasn't uttered one single word thus far about how she doesn't want to her here. Perhaps the whole thing will just get swept under the rug?

When he catches Leena alone in the kitchen, Artie takes advantage of the opportunity to unburden himself. In front of Pete, Myka & Claudia he has to appear confident, authoritative. But deep down he feels the weight of uncertainty pressing down on him, like everything is falling apart around him. He feels like he is losing control of his team. He looks to Leena for reassurance, for guidance. He had told Leena, and only Leena, about recognising Myka's father at the regent meeting.

"Are you sure it was the same man?" She asked sceptically.

"Well I can't be one hundred percent certain."

"For arguments sake let's agree that it was the same man. What difference does it make?" Leena asks him.

He can't find an answer.

"I just don't know what to make of all of this. This person out there who seemingly has knowledge about the warehouse and a plan to steal artifacts. Myka's father being one of the regents. This whole shooting incident which neither Pete or Myka have actually filled me in on."

"That last part isn't too hard to piece together, is it?" Leena postulates.

He looks to her, a little confused. He had found it rather confounding. Myka had never struck him as the type of person to be careless or reckless with her weapon. And aside from the shooting incident itself, (these things happen), why had she taken off like that? Why had Pete been so sketchy with the details?

"You told me about the case at the prison, the unexplained suicides, the quartz, electrical storm, hallucinations." Leena prompts him.

He only shrugs.

"And then there is that darkness hanging over Myka." Leena continues.

"What are you saying?"

"Isn't it likely that Myka may have been afflicted by the hallucinations at the prison? That she tried to shoot herself, that Pete tried to stop her, getting himself wounded in the process?" Leena suggests.

This particular scenario had not occurred to Artie, and in hindsight he wonders why it had not. Perhaps he didn't want to see it. He was aware of the hallucinations, the possibility that one or both of them may have been affected. But to think of Myka actually picking up her gun and aiming it at her own head- was something he just did not want to consider. It shouldn't shock him, it was hardly the most shocking thing he had encountered. And yet, shock him it does.

"Even if that's what happened, that was a product of the hallucinations. Nothing to worry about." Artie decides.

"You don't see that darkness surrounding her?" Leena asks.

Artie doesn't answer. He thinks back to that look in Myka's eyes at the diner. He would be lying if he said he didn't see something. But whatever he may or may not have seen in Myka's eyes, it's the thing in Leena's eyes that moment that frightens him more than a little.

"We should keep a close eye on her." Leena adds quietly before she hears the footsteps of the others approaching.

* * *

"What now?" Pete asks as they all meet around the table.

"I think the best thing is to get back into the field as soon as possible. This person is going to pick a time and place to approach Myka again, it's not likely to happen sitting around here. We need to carry on as if nothing is out of the ordinary. There is a case that is worth investigating in New York, not urgently though, it can wait until next week."

Myka glares at Artie "What case? I said I would help you catch this guy. I never said anything about working other cases." She protests.

"Why next week?" Pete asks "I told you, I'm fine, I'm ready to get out there. The sooner the better, right? You said so yourself."

Artie turns to Myka "The only way to lure this man into a false sense of security is to carry on as usual. Besides, you may as well be doing something useful, right?" He tries not to let it hurt him, the disdain in her voice for this whole place and anything Warehouse related. He tells himself it's not aimed personally at him.

To Pete he turns next. "The doctor said one week before you're cleared to get back in the field. Not negotiable."

"Fine then, I don't need Pete. It's me he wants, I'll go tomorrow." Myka tells them.

Pete and Artie answer that in unison with a resounding "No!"

"I could go in Pete's place." Claudia pipes in.

"How long exactly is this going to go on for, Artie? Indefinitely?" Myka wants to know.

To Claudia Artie replies. "No, you can not."

The jumbled protests from the three of them make his head spin. "New York. Next week. No arguments. Until then there is plenty of inventory to occupy everyone. Anyone who has any contact with any person outside this organisation is to alert me immediately."

He turns to Myka then "I don't know how long this will continue. I'm sorry that the thought of another week in this place causes you such distress." His tone is bitter, not sorry in the least, she thinks to herself.

Pete turns to Myka then, looking at her reassuringly. She finds it condescending. As if he doesn't really believe her that she is leaving once this is over. As if no one takes her seriously. She turns her head away.

Disagreements continue as to how things will run over the next weeks.

"There isn't anything we can do, just carry on as usual." Artie repeats. "Which means following my instructions without question."

Claudia laughs. "Since when do we ever do that?"

She waits for Artie to silence her with a glare, but truthfully he is a little glad that things are becoming more light hearted.

"You think Myka should wear a wire?" Claudia asks.

"Too dangerous." Pete answers. "What if he sees it, figures out she is double crossing him?"

"Besides, we don't need a wire. Myka can just tell us everything that's said." Artie adds.

Myka is the only one sitting silently through the conversation as they discuss how best for her to catch this man.

The conversation fades from her consciousness, she imagines coming face to face with this man again. She imagines asking him only one thing- not who he is or what he wants or how he plans to get it. She wants to ask him only this- _why me?_

_

* * *

_

As she tries to make a hasty exit to her room, Myka is forced to turn around as Pete calls her name. She can hardly ignore him, not when he is limping along behind her to keep up, not when it was a bullet from her own gun that struck him.

"Can we talk?" He asks, and once again she can't refuse him. She follows him into his room and they sit precariously on his bed.

"Artie said you were leaving." He begins. He isn't certain that it's wise to push her on this point. But he feels like she is slipping away, and he is willing to try anything to hold onto her.

"I am. As soon as this is over." She insists.

"Because of me?" He asks. "Because I let you down."

"No."

"I owe you an apology. I am sorry beyond what words can express for everything that happened with that mirror. That I was carelessly playing with it, you were right- it's not a toy. I'm sorry for what happened to you. I'm sorry that I didn't figure it out a whole hell of a lot sooner, and I'm sorry for what I said to you at breakfast the other morning, it was not amusing."

"I shot you Pete, could have killed you, I walked out on you and left you bleeding on the floor. You don't have anything to apologise to me for." She realises that Claudia is right, as angry as she may have been with Pete- they are pretty even now.

"One thing has nothing to do with the other. Though we can talk about that too if you like. But first, please, believe me when I tell you I'm sorry."

The remorse in his voice in unbearable. She decides to put him out of his misery. "That's not the reason I'm leaving. I'm leaving because of _me_. Because I can't be trusted. You nearly died because I totally lost it on the job."

"That wasn't you Myka. You can't blame yourself for what happened. You were hallucinating. So was I. It's no one's fault. No one blames you. I know you, Myka, I trust you with my life. Please, let it go."

"You know me?" She scoffs. She can't be angry at him any longer. Not after everything that happened. But she can't change the fact that she is still hurt at the way he didn't notice the difference. She doesn't blame him, but it still stings. "How can you be sure that this is really me? Could you even tell the difference?" She challenges him.

He knows he is in trouble from the tone of her voice. Knows that whatever he says, it will be the wrong thing.

"Yes." He tells her. "I know it's you."

"How?" She asks him. There is only curiosity, not anger, in her tone. She only wants his reassurance.

He looks to her then. Looks long and hard. What is it that makes it uniquely _her_? How can he be so sure this is the real her. What thing is it he missed that day, that thing he should have seen loud and clear in "Alice" that would have screamed to him that it wasn't Myka?

Upon reflection, there were many things about "Alice" that did not sit right with him. All very well in hindsight. She looked like Myka, she sounded like Myka, and to a certain extent the played the role convincingly. It's not like he had been expecting an imposter in the exact image of his partner- although in their line of work, perhaps he should have been more vigilant, less trusting. Then there were the things about Alice that he knew weren't quite right from the start- but things that he liked a little too much. He would never admit that to Myka, he knew enough to know that wouldn't help his case. The kiss for one thing. The way she didn't hold back, the way he didn't have to work so damn hard knocking down walls to get through to her.

"How are you sure that I'm really Pete?" He turns the tables on her. He isn't trying to win an argument with her, he only wants her to see that the conversation is ridiculous. That this whole damn thing is ridiculous.

For the longest time, she says nothing.

"You shouldn't have done it." She tells him at last, cryptically, as she stands to walk away.

He gathers that he is supposed to know what she is referring to, but he does not.

"There are a lot of things I shouldn't have done, and a lot of things I should have. There are many things I'd do differently if I had the chance. Too many to count, but I can't change that now. None of us can change the things of the past, we just have to move forward."

"You shouldn't have tried to take that gun." She clarifies for him. "You shouldn't have stopped me."


	19. Chapter 19

_**AN: This is for Kathryn0505 with all my love and gratitude for your extreme awesomeness, and for writing the first paragraph of this chapter and successfully getting me completely unstuck with this fic :) I 3 you, you're the most amazing person I know. Thanks to everyone for reading and the comments, they mean the world to me. Hope you like the chapter and I promise to keep the updates far more regular in the future :) Enjoy! **_

_**Chapter 19**_

He has her by the arms before she even realises what is happening. He's so close she can hear him breathing, can see the rise and fall of his chest.

"How can you say that?" he shakes her lightly. "How can you think that that would be good in any way?"

"Everyone would be so much better off…" her voice waivers. She doesn't cry, but the shake in her voice is enough to give her away.

"Myka…" he leans down until he is staring directly into her eyes. "I would not be better off. I would miss you."

She is more than surprised to note that his eyes have a slight glaze to them, and her guilt over the situation hits her full force as she realises she is still hurting him. Everything she does is hurting him.

Instinctively she wants to flee from him, from all of this. But she can't bring herself to walk away. She casts her gaze to the floor, unable to stand the intensity radiating from his stare. She takes a deep breath to prevent tears from falling.

His hands slide down her arms to her wrists, and he tightens his grip just a little. He is firm with her, but not rough. "I am never, ever, going to stand by and let you do anything to hurt yourself. Don't you know that it would kill me if anything happened to you? So, you are not going anywhere. Do you hear me?"

She nods. Not because she believes he can pull her back from the brink of the dark place she is in. Not because she even wants him too. Just because she feels like it will make him feel better. There is no use arguing with him any further. So she does her best to smile, still not quite able to look him in the eyes. She can't speak, she knows that one more word and she would fall to pieces.

He is so good to her. He always has been. Tender and understanding. Even when she least deserved it. And he deserves so much better than this.

He pulls her close to him, drawing her into a gentle embrace. She doesn't push him away. She feels like she owes him this comfort. She feels like it is what is expected of her. It takes every ounce of restraint she has not to flinch or squirm in his arms, not to shove him aside and tell him to stop wasting his time on her. She stands, lifeless, still. Unable to relax, unable to embrace him in return. She lets her mind go completely blank, pushes away all the tormenting thoughts that are threatening to overwhelm her. She allows herself no comfort from his touch except the thought that perhaps it will make him feel better.

"I feel like you're so far away from me." She hears him whisper in her ear, the sadness in his tone is unbearable.

She pulls away then, collecting herself "I'm right here." She reassures him. But her voice is lifeless and dull, she still can't meet his eyes, and her performance far from convincing. She wishes she could give him what he wants. Smile, and shrug everything off. Wishes she could laugh and joke with him, turn back the clock. But she just doesn't think that it's possible.

"Stay for a bit." He invites her. "We could watch a movie."

There is hesitation written all over her face. It prompts him to once again use his injury to prevent her from walking away. "You know, in case I might need something."

He is almost expecting her to punch him playfully and inform him that she isn't his slave. But she does not. Her eyes harden at his words as they slice through her heart. He regrets at once using the injury to gain her sympathy as he sees the mountain of guilt he has just thrown right in her face. It's the last thing he meant to do, he only wanted to stop her from walking away.

"You should be resting." She tells him, backing away from him. "Just tell me what you need, I'll bring it up to you."

"Just stay for a bit. Please Myka? That's all I need. I'll even let you pick the movie. Come on, that's a once in a life time offer, how can you refuse?" He tries to dazzle her with his most charming smile.

"Ok. Just for a little while." She concedes. She even half smiles in return. And he isn't certain if it's his charm or the guilt trip that's managed to convince her.

"Popcorn?" She asks him, as he hobbles back to the bed.

"Nah."

She is a little taken aback by his refusal. The truth is, of course he wants popcorn. He always wants popcorn. But there is no way he is letting her out of his sight to go downstairs and make it. He can see it now, the minute she was gone she would be finding excuses not to come back. She'd send one of the others up to keep him company. He will have to live without the popcorn just this one time.

She is overly considerate, handing him the remote as she perches on the opposite side of the bed, about as far away from him as she can get. It all feels so awkward and false. No popcorn. No fight over what movie to watch. No wrestling over the remote.

"You can come a bit closer, I promise not to bite." He tells her.

"I don't wanna hurt your leg."

"You won't." He assures her, and she hesitantly shifts ever so slightly closer to him.

He doesn't know what it is that makes him shuffle closer to her, and reach his arm around her shoulder. It's not something he would normally do, and especially not when things are so shaky between them. When she has so many walls up to keep him out, and all of her body language is telling him to back off.

He only wants so desperately to reach out to her in some way, and words don't seem to be adequate. He doesn't want to get drawn into a debate about whether or not she should leave the warehouse, about fault and blame and shooting and mirrors. He only wants her to know that he is here for her. That it's killing him to see her like this. That he would do anything to take away the pain in her eyes. And it feels so natural to reach his arm out around her.

He is surprised when she doesn't shrug him away, or flinch at his touch. She looks up at him, but there is only weariness in her eyes, nothing more. Utter exhaustion. She simply hasn't the energy to keep pushing him away. And he can only hope in that moment that his eyes convey to her all the things he is desperate for her to know.

She turns her gaze back towards the movie, and rests her head against his shoulder. And before the opening credits have come to a close, he hears the rhythmic breathing indicating she is sound asleep. He pulls her closer, holds her a little tighter. He leans down and gently kisses the top of her head in a manner that would have made them both uncomfortable if she had been awake. A tear escapes his own eye when he allows himself to think how close she came to pulling that trigger. How desperately she had wanted to do it. His own thoughts are racing, horror and sadness and helplessness and anger. But he forces himself to put it all aside. The only thing that mattered right now was that she was safe in his arms.


	20. Chapter 20

So...gearing up for NaNoWriMo in November, making a huge effort to finish my W13 fan fiction before then. So apologies, the updates are a little more rushed than I would like. Hope you enjoy :)

_**Chapter 20**_

She is tossing and turning in her sleep, plagued by a dark nightmare. Pete shakes her, lightly, trying to wake her. He calls her name. But she is in a faraway place, too far away to hear him. There are tears in her eyes, and torment in her voice as she mumbles unintelligible phrases. He looks down to her for a moment. She looks so vulnerable, in a way that she would never let him see if she were awake. Gently he wipes the tears from her eyes. He wants to reach her, wants to know the things that haunt her. But he knows that as soon as he wakes her up, she will shut him out completely.

So for a moment, he just holds her, stroking her hair, whispering things to her that he would never say to her if he thought she could actually hear him. But it's more than he can stand, seeing her so distressed. Her terror is escalating. He grabs her by the shoulders, more forcefully this time. All he wants is to pull her away from the darkness. There is only one word he can make out clearly, the word she calls out as she sits suddenly bolt upright. Just one word, a name. "Tom!"

She wakes up trembling and gasping for air.

"It's ok, it's just a dream." He soothes her. She flinches away from his hands on her shoulders.

Pete allows her a moment to compose herself before asking the obvious question. "Myka, who is Tom?"

She looks at him, perplexed.

"You were calling out in your sleep, calling for Tom."

She shrugs "I was dreaming, I don't remember." She averts her gaze from him. She glances at the clock. 2am. It takes her a moment to look around and remember just how she had come to be in Pete's bed in the first place.

"I don't know anyone called Tom." She tells him adamantly. "I should go."

"Don't." He tells her. But he can see she is determined. That she can't stand his touch, can't stand to look him in the eye. The same way she has looked at him ever since the shooting at the prison. And he knows he has no choice but to let her go.

* * *

Artie wishes he had picked another moment to go downstairs for a glass of water. He simply did not need to see that particular sight at 2am. Myka sneaking out of Pete's bedroom. As far as he was concerned- when it came to romantic liaisons between agents of the warehouse- what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

He considers the possibility this may very well be an entirely innocent encounter. But just how many explanations were there as to why Myka would be sneaking guiltily out of Pete's bedroom, clothing disheveled, in the middle of the night? He can think of only one.

Sure, he had told Pete to give Myka a reason to stick around at the Warehouse, but that is not exactly what he meant! This kind of involvement only leads to trouble. Distraction in the field. And he would have thought Myka learned her lesson there already. Granted, she did not appear to be thinking too clearly, but Pete should know better than this. Better than taking advantage of her when she is in such a vulnerable state. Artie wonders then, just how long had this been going on for? He doesn't think he wants to know. He wonders what will happen when it all falls apart, as it inevitably does.

And suddenly, the crazy idea of sending Myka and Claudia to New York doesn't seem so crazy after all.

* * *

She does not know anyone called Tom. She is certain of that. But when she had told Pete so, he looked at her like she was insane. Worse, like she was lying to him. Like she had slapped him. Like she was lying in his bed, in his arms, dreaming about some other man. A man called Tom.

Not that it would have mattered if she was dreaming about another man. It's not like she and Pete were together. She had accidentally fallen asleep watching movies with him. It's not like she owed him any explanations about the men in her life, the men in her dreams.

Only, the thing is, she really does not know anyone called Tom.

It is 3am, and she is sitting in her car. Because she needs space to think. Because she is afraid to fall asleep inside the house. Afraid to dream. Afraid to wake up screaming. Afraid of the questions and the sideways glances. Afraid of what things she will let slip. She isn't planning on going anywhere. She is only sitting, her knees tucked up under her chin, staring out the windscreen into the night.

She didn't recall all of her dream. Only that he was there, the man from the diner. Only that now when she thinks of him, she thinks of him as "Tom." And she is certain of one thing. During their brief encounter, he never told her his name.

Myka jumps out of her skin when the car door opens, and the red haired girl slides into the seat next to her.

"Going somewhere?" It's an accusation, laced with resentment. As if Claudia thinks Myka is trying to sneak off into the night and disappear. Again. Without so much as goodbye.

It makes Myka momentarily angry that she has to justify her actions to anyone. So what if she was going somewhere, it was none of Claudia's business. But she answers the girl nonetheless. "No."

"What the hell are you doing then?" Claudia asks, as if she has any right to know at all.

"Just sitting." Myka tells her.

"In your car?"

"Yes."

"At two am?"

Myka shrugs. "Evidently, yes."

Claudia spies the car keys, Myka is still clutching in her hand. And it gives some credibility to Myka's story. "Why?"

For a moment she wants to slap the girl. For intruding into her space, for asking so many stupid questions. But she turns then, and looks at Claudia. At the girl who had followed her outside, in the middle of the night. She looks and she sees not anger but concern in Claudia's eyes. She sees fear. She sees a person who looks up to her. Still, after all of this, looks up to her.

"No reason." Myka answers.

"Okay." Claudia concedes. But she makes no move to leave. "You could at least put the radio on. It's kind of creepy sitting here in silence in the dark."

Myka smiles at her then. "Go back to bed." She tells her.

"I don't want to leave you here." Claudia replies. From anyone else the words would have grated on her nerves, but she looks at Claudia in that moment, and sees a sad lonely little girl. Myka hasn't the heart to tell her to get lost. Neither can she bring herself to go back inside the house. So instead, she slides the keys into the ignition and turns the radio on.


	21. Chapter 21

_**Chapter 21 **_

The next morning at the breakfast table Artie makes his announcement. "I have reconsidered. I think perhaps the case in New York can't wait."

"Great." Says Pete.

"Not you." Artie is quick to explain. "I already told you, one more week before you're cleared to work in the field."

"But you can't..." What he wants to say is '_You can't send Myka alone. She's not thinking clearly.' _But he does not dare say that in front of her. It's more than his life is worth to make a statement like that.

"Claudia can go with Myka. It's a fairly straight forward retrieval. They'll be fine." Artie declares.

"You're kidding, right?" Claudia asks, eyes popping out of her head.

"I am not kidding." Artie answers. "Don't give me cause to regret it."

"Wait a minute." Myka protests. "You're asking me to be responsible for her in the field..."

"I can take care of myself." Claudia interrupts, her triumphant smile fading at the insinuation that she needs someone to be responsible for her.

"I'm not doubting your abilities. But you've never been in the field, you have no training. You'll be a hindrance. I'll be more effective on my own." Myka tells her. That comment hurt. Myka sees it in Claudia's eyes. And she is sorry for it. But there is simply no way she is going along with this plan.

"Artie thinks I'm ready." Claudia retorts.

Myka looks to Artie. She hates him in that moment, for putting this on her. God, look what happened to Pete. How can he think that Claudia would be safe with her in any way? Why would Artie do this to her? To Claudia? It is madness. "I will not do this." She tells him icily.

"You will do as I order you to do. That's how things work around here." Artie answers, raising his voice. He resents the way she insists on challenging his authority on every single thing lately. "I'm certain you've read the manual. You are aware of the consequences of defying a direct order."

Claudia's eyes widen at this threat. Pete only looks bewildered because, he still hasn't read the manual.

"Go on, do it." Myka challenges Artie, her voice never wavering.

"Surely this can wait a few days." Pete protests, coming to Myka's defence, trying to defuse the situation. Whatever these consequences of defying a direct order may be, he is certain they aren't good.

"You think you're so fantastic that we can't function without you, Pete?" Claudia demands. "You're not indispensable. Artie made his decision, we all have to abide by it."

"Hey!" Pete raises his hands in defence. "I just think we should all calm down."

"Since when do you abide by anything Artie decide, Claudia?" Myka demands to know.

"Children! Enough! I have made my decision, this is a direct order. End of story."

* * *

Pete follows Artie out of the room, leaving Myka and Claudia staring at one another bitterly.

"Artie, this is a bad idea. What are you thinking? You can't send them out to New York. Claudia doesn't know what she is doing, and Myka …..isn't herself." Pete finishes. He saw it all over Myka's face. How afraid she was to be responsible for Claudia in the field.

"I am aware of that. I just feel it would be good for Myka to get out there, do something constructive. It's not good to sit around here all day. She is more than capable of a simple retrieval."

"I know she is capable. I just think, it's been a rough week. I should be with her."

"It might surprise you to know that Myka is perfectly capable of functioning without you by her side." Artie answers.

It's not that Pete disagrees. The sooner Myka got back in the field, the better. She would get her confidence back, realise what what an indispensable part of the warehouse she is. Things would go back to normal. "My leg is really fine, Let me go with her." Pete argues.

"It bothers you, that Myka is working with someone other than you?" Artie asks.

"What's that supposed to mean? Claudia is just a kid. This is crazy. Anything could happen."

"Nothing is going to happen." Artie assures him.

"You don't know that."

"I do know that. There is no artifact in New York." Artie admits.

"What?" Pete wants to know.

"Well, I'm certain there are actually many artifacts in New York, but there is nothing particular that warrants this mission."

"You're sending them on a wild goose chase? Why would you do that?" Pete asks.

"For all the reasons we just discussed. It will be good for Myka to get out in the field. Good for you two to spend some time apart."

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"You look tired, Pete. Didn't get much sleep last night?" Artie narrows his gaze in accusation.

"What?" Pete is thoroughly confused.

"Relax, they will be fine. It will be good for everyone, you'll see."

"And what if this guy approaches them?"

"Good. He might be more likely to approach Myka if you're not around. He isn't going to harm her, he needs her. They will be fine."

"Did you stop to think about what's going to happen when Myka and Claudia find out you've lied about this assignment?"

"They aren't going to find out, are they?"

* * *

"Pete." She calls his name, running towards him.

He turns, surprised. It's the first time in a long time that she has approached him. Since the incident with the mirror, in fact.

"Myka." He smiles at her.

She comes straight to the point. "You don't think it's a good idea, Claudia and I going to New York." It's a statement, not a question.

He doesn't know what to say, he knows he is on dangerous ground. That whatever he says will be the wrong thing.

"I just don't see why I can't go, my leg is fine." He tells her. "I don't like missing out on the action."

"You think I'm not capable." She accuses him, though there is no bitterness in her voice.

"I know you're more than capable of anything you set your mind to." He tells her sincerely.

"Then why are you so against it?" She asks him.

"I can see it bothers you, being responsible for Claudia in the field. I was trying to stick up for you."

"That's not the whole truth." She challenges him.

"What do you mean?" He is trying hard not to get frustrated with her. He knows what a dark place she is in. And all he has ever tried to do was support her. But it seems everything he says or does gets twisted around and thrown back in his face.

"You think I can't function without you watching over me." She accuses him.

"That isn't true..." He begins.

"You're probably right, Pete. I just don't have what it takes anymore. I really can't do this. What's the point of me even being here if I can't handle one simple assignment without you?"

"That isn't what I think at all. I believe in you, have always believed in you. You'll be fine. Claudia will be fine. She couldn't ask for a better mentor in the field." Pete tries to sound convincing. After all, the words are true. He believes in her. He wants to believe in her, at least. But sometimes, when he looks at that faraway gaze in her eyes, it frightens him.

"I said I would stay at the Warehouse just to catch these people. That's it. I can't do anymore than that. I can't go on all these assignments. I can't take Claudia with me. I tried to tell Artie. He won't listen to me. You tell him. Tell him I shot you, nearly killed you. Tell him Claudia is in terrible danger. Tell him he has to call this off. He will listen to you."

She is looking to him so distressed, that he really wants to tell her to chill out. That this isn't even a real assignment. He wants to tell her to play along, take Claudia on a road trip to New York, go shopping, or whatever it is girls do on a road trip. And just calm down. He wants to tell her not to cry, because he will fix everything. And he won't let Artie force her to do something she doesn't want to do.

But something stops him. Something about the way she is looking at him, needing his reassurance. He wants her to believe in herself. And to know that Artie invented this fake assignment would only shatter her confidence further.

"You can do this, Myka. Artie believes in you. I believe in you. And what happened at the prison was not your fault. Nothing is going to happen to Claudia. And, besides, Artie isn't going to call off a mission because I tell him to."

"Tell him to leave Claudia behind. Tell him to let me go alone." Myka pleads with him desperately.

He almost wants to give in. Because she is finally here, standing before him, looking him in the eyes. She is finally communicating with him. She is asking something of him, and he wants to be able to give it to her. But he can not. And this time it's not for fear of shattering her confidence.

"No." Pete shakes his head. "I won't do that."

"You don't think I can do it alone? You think I need Claudia watching over my shoulder? A kid who has never spent even a minute in the field and you think I can't do my job without her? If you think I'm that incapable then you really should insist that Artie get rid of me right this second." She turns to walk away from him.

"Stop it." He tells her, grabbing her by the wrists. "Stop twisting everything I say. Myka, I trust you with my life. I trust you with Claudia's life."

"But?" She is almost afraid to ask.

"I don't think I trust you with your own life right now." He finishes. "At least, if Claudia is with you, I know that you won't let anything happen."

She doesn't know what to make of that.

* * *

AN: Thanks to all the people out there who are reading and adding this story to their alerts and favourites. But please do take a minute to leave a brief comment and let me know what you liked/disliked. It always means so much to get feedback of any kind :) And to all the people who have taken time to leave a comment, I love you guys! It means the world to me :) Thanks for reading. xox


	22. Chapter 22

_**Chapter 22**_

Although he would not admit it aloud to anyone, Artie wonders if he has made the right decision. Pete had told him in no uncertain terms he did not agree with the plan to send Claudia with Myka to New York. Even Leena cautioned him that it might be unwise to push the issue.

"Don't back her into a corner." Leena warns him. "You might be surprised how far she is willing to go to defy you."

"I have to take control." Artie defends himself. "It's about time that everyone around here remembered I'm in charge."

" You're supposed to be in charge. But there are things out of your control. You feel powerless. And throwing your weight around makes you feel like you can control everything." Leena confronts him calmly.

"I do not feel powerless." He vehemently insists. "And making legitimate requests from the people who work for me, is not _throwing my weight around_."

"You think that you can control her? That you can force things back the way they used to be? Or perhaps you want her to leave? Are you trying to push her that close to the edge that she'll snap and walk away, consequences be damned."

"Don't be ridiculous! No one wants Myka to leave." Artie insists.

"You didn't fight her very hard when she told you she was leaving. Not until Mrs Frederic ordered you that Myka had to stay."

"That is none of your concern." He hardens his tone.

"How do you think that looks to Myka? That she is valuable to you only for her part in this ambush? Not as a colleague, a friend, not as part of a team, a family? That you were willing to let her go so easily."

"It's what she wanted! What she still wants. It's not my place to tell her how to run her life. Maybe it's better for her to leave before this place destroys her like so many before her. Who am I to stop her?"

"It isn't really what she wants. To leave." Leena informs him.

"She is angry at me."

"Not so much."

"I let her down. That incident with the mirror. " Artie admits.

"We all do the best we can. Unavoidable things happen. And we do our best. Isn't that what you told her about the shooting incident at the prison? It's over now, everyone is fine. It's time to move on. Where you are letting her down, Artie, is right here right now. Forcing her to this assignment, forcing her to stay here against her will." Leena explains.

"It's Mrs Frederic's orders. And excuse me, but didn't you just tell me that I didn't try hard enough to make her stay, and now I'm "forcing" her to be here against her will. Make up your mind."

"My point is, You don't need to keep her here by force, Artie. She will find her place again. She needs to know she is valuable to the Warehouse, to the team, to you. That she is here for more than Mrs Frederic's purposes. She needs to know she matters to you. She told you that herself. I don't think you realise how much your approval, your respect, means to her. You'll get a hell of a lot further than forcing her to do things against her will. Try it sometime."

* * *

Artie is expecting to find anger burning in her eyes. It's the only thing he's seen in Myka's eyes the past few weeks. Instead there is only quiet contemplation as she sits outside alone.

"I apologise for...I think you may have misunderstood me." Artie tells her as he invites himself to sit beside her.

"You made yourself perfectly clear." She acknowledges without meeting his gaze.

"Myka." He begins, and something in the way he utters her name makes her instantly uncomfortable. She has to fight to sit still next to him, and not to squirm away from him. He continues. "I don't want things to be this way, this constant battle over every little issue. I think you know how much you are needed here right now, to neutralise this threat to the Warehouse and catch these people out."

"I know." She agrees.

"More than that. You are part of a team. A family. You have a place here. What I'm trying to say is, I want you to stay. Not because...I mean just because I want you to stay. I can't imagine the place without you."

"You'd manage." She tells him.

"Perhaps. But I'd rather not have to. On the other hand, I don't want to force you to stay here..."

"That's exactly what you are doing." She points out.

"The orders come from way above my head. I think you know that. There are security considerations. You can not just walk away."

"Uhuh." She turns away, rolling her eyes. Making it clear that his words are meaningless to her. That blaming Mrs Frederic is a pretty pathetic cop out.

"It might not be exactly your choice right now to be here. But since you are here for now, perhaps we could both just make the best of it." He wants to tell her so many more things. About how confused and powerless he feels too. How it drives him crazy to know that Mrs Frederic has knowledge and plans that she chooses not to share with him. How he realises, for the very first time, just what she had been talking about when she had been so disturbed at being kept in the dark. He wonders, not for the first time, about her father and his connection to the warehouse. He wonders what she knows and he is desperate to ask her. But something holds him back.

She doesn't want to look at him. Because she is afraid she might cry. But she manages to nod her head in agreement. "Okay." She concedes.

She has caught him a little off guard. He had been waiting for an angry onslaught. For accusations and arguments.

He continues. "The case in New York, it can probably wait until next week."

"You said it was important." She reminds him.

"Every case is important."

"And you've already told Claudia she can go. It will crush her."

"Undoubtedly."

"Well then. I guess Claudia and I will leave this afternoon." With those words she walks away, leaving him bewildered.


	23. Chapter 23

_**A/N: Thanks to mayireadtoday and sunkrux who helped me out with my extreme inability when it comes to artifacts. Though inspite of their awesome inspiration, I still managed to skim over the whole artifact to a large extent, basically because I have no imagination! But I do thank them both sincerely for their input and efforts. **_

_**Chapter 23 **_

Hours later the group congregates at the lunch table. Myka watches them, smiling at one another. Claudia unable to curb her enthusiasm, not even dampened by Myka's earlier protests about her lack of experience. Pete smiling back at Claudia. Even Artie seems relaxed.

She feels she has little choice but to go along with this assignment in the end. She reminds herself about the importance of the work. Reminds herself of the eyes of the anxious young girl, looking to her- still to her- for some sort of approval. Of Artie, how hard it was for him to say those things to her, how badly he wants her to go along with all of this and how badly she wants to please him. She reminds herself of Pete, and all the ways she let him down. She owes him this if nothing else. She is profoundly unsettled by the way Pete looks at her. As if she will break any second. As much as she did feel that way, she hated seeing it reflected in his eyes. It makes her want to try so much harder. To at least make a pretence of being the person she used to be. The person they all want her to be.

As she slides into the chair beside Claudia, she leans over whispering softly, "I'm sorry for the things I said. It's no reflection on you."

The unexpected apology is more than enough to melt the girls bitterness. What fun would her first assignment be if she and Myka were scarcely on speaking terms? So Claudia shrugs, letting it go. "No problem."

"I'm looking forward to having you with me in the field." Myka goes as far to say, and she means it.

Claudia beams back at her "It's gonna be so epic."

Artie can't help but smile as he watches them. It just goes to show, this assignment hadn't been a bad idea after all. Pete and Leena had been wrong.

Myka makes an extreme effort at the table, to smile, to agree with everything Artie says. She finds that for the first time in as long as she can remember- things are smooth and amicable. Everyone is relaxed. Myka realises there and then that the problem is her. She realises she is poisoning those around her. She realises, once again, just how much better off everyone would be without her.

She tries to pay attention to Artie as he describes the artifact to her. The girls don't notice anything off in Artie's presentation. It's Pete who can't quite meet him in the eye.

"This is what you are looking for." He flashes a picture of the object.

"It's a rock." Claudia observes, unimpressed.

"It's a geode. A rock cavity, with internal crystal formations. This piece is 6 million years old." He informs her.

"It's a rock." She repeats.

"Essentially, yes, it's a rock." He is forced to admit. "We have reason to believe in the possession of this man. We are uncertain how he acquired it." Artie continues flashing photographs of an unknown man, information about his home and work place.

"What does it do?" Myka asks.

"Not certain." Artie answers.

"One way to find out." Claudia jokes.

"This is not a laughing matter." Artie is quick to remind her. "This is a serious assignment. And I expect you to exercise extreme caution and do everything Myka tells you to at all times. Is that clear?"

"Yes sir." She answers, unable to stop smiling.

"You look worried." Myka says to Pete after the others have left.

"I'm not." He tells her. He is lying through his teeth. He is afraid to let her out of his sight. He is afraid what will happen if she figures out that this whole assignment is fake.

She smiles at him then, reassuring him. And he catches a glimmer of her old self. Maybe Artie had been right, this trip might be a good idea after all.

_**~Later that night in New York  
**_

Claudia is trying her best not to fuck anything up. She knows Myka is still not thrilled to have her along for the ride. She is making a fair effort at pretending though, and so Claudia plays her part. She follows the orders Myka had given her. '_Do what I tell you, when I tell you. Stay here, right here in this very spot. Don't move, don't let anyone past, and don't get yourself killed._'

Myka had left her there in the corridor, on surveillance. Claudia glances down the corridor she was supposed to be watching. Face it, no one was going to come along into this office building in the middle of the night. The security guard was sound asleep at his post downstairs. Surveillance was completely unnecessary. Myka had only told her to stand here on guard to make her feel useful. And while Claudia resents that more than a little bit, she is still just grateful that Myka let her come at all.

Myka had left the Tesla with her though. Claudia isn't certain why. As part of the act perhaps? To make her feel like she had an important job to do? Although Claudia could swear she caught a glimpse of genuine fear in Myka's eyes as she handed it over and told the girl '_Just in case.' _As if Myka actually believed something might happen that would warrant the use of the Tesla. When, truth be told, this was the most boring assignment ever- snatching some crummy rock from an abandoned office in the middle of the night.

_'Just don't shoot me with it whatever you do.' _Had been Myka's last words as she crept down the corridor into the office leaving Claudia alone, and decidedly bored.


	24. Chapter 24

_**Chapter 24**_

He catches Myka by surprise, even though she had been expecting him. She had been looking over her shoulder constantly the past few days. Still, she is stunned to turn and find him in that office. He hadn't made a sound as he entered the room. He doesn't ask her what she is doing, rifling through the office in the middle of the night. It must be fairly obvious she is hunting for an artifact, which seems not to interest him in the slightest.

"Is this a good time to continue our conversation?" He asks her.

"Not particularly." She thinks of Claudia outside that hallway. And all over again she curses Artie for making her bring the girl along. She doesn't want her involved in this.

"Your young friend is distracted, she wont disturb us." He tells her.

"What have you done to her?" Myka demands, swinging around to face him.

"Not a thing. I'm not out to harm anyone. I would just prefer she did not interrupt us this time."

Myka can't concentrate any longer. She is thinking about Claudia. Where is she? Is she safe? Why had she left her outside? But he is blocking the doorway, the only exit. And for the moment she is stranded.

"Over there." He points to the desk. To the fairly innocuous looking rock acting as a paperweight. It irritates her more than spooks her that he knows so much about her, about what she is looking for and where to find it. She inspects it in her gloved hands. That's the one all right. She packages it carefully.

"Who are you?" She wants to know

"Does it matter?" He answers her question with a question.

There is something about him. Something eerily familiar to her. She tries to convince herself that her mind is playing tricks. She tries to observe him, the little things about him. She is seeking some clue to his identity. But she finds only more confusion. It is only when she chances to look away from him, that she hears his voice resound in her mind. She feels the floor shifting underneath her at the unmistakable familiarity. And still, she can not quite place him.

"I was hoping we could discuss our arrangement further." He begins.

"I wasn't aware we had an 'arrangement'" She responds. She knows she is supposed to be 'playing along', but she doesn't want to make it too obvious.

"Yes, perhaps I am jumping the gun." He admits.

There are minutes of awkward silence before she asks him the burning question."Why me?"

"I'm not sure I understand your question." He looks to her, confused.

"Why did you come to me to help you?" She clarifies.

"Because I trust you." He tells her.

It's an odd answer, one she had not been expecting. She isn't quite certain what to make of it. And she doesn't like the way those words affect her. She thinks of Pete telling her that exact same thing. _"I trust you, Myka, I trust you with my life."_ Yet this time, it was different. As if it meant something else entirely.

"What makes you so certain you can trust me?" She asks him. "That I will betray the people I work for? Just turn my back on them to help you?" Myka genuinely wants to know.

"The people you work for betray your trust." He informs her. "Why shouldn't you return the favor?"

* * *

It felt like hours standing in that spot, when in reality it had probably been only minutes. That's when Claudia catches a flicker of movement in her peripheral vision. She tells herself her mind is playing tricks on her. But she feels shivers down her spine, her every hair is standing on end, and she gets the distinct feeling that she and Myka are no longer alone up here.

She knows she should not abandon her post. But it was a ridiculous post. And as she turns to look behind her, she is certain she sees something, someone, moving out of the corner of her eye. She is so certain about what she had seen, or rather who, that she doesn't even reach for the Tesla. She strolls calmly back down the corridor, as if she hadn't a care in the world- not a single care aside from the apprehension over what would happen if Myka came back right this second and found she had abandoned her post. That prospect did scare her a little.

She can hear him breathing, even though she can't quite make out his figure in the darkness. She has backed him into a corner. He makes no move, and she decides she will have a little fun.

"Is anyone there?" She calls out. And, receiving no answer, she turns to walk away, muttering under her breath "Well, that's strange." She thinks she can hear him sigh in relief. And then in an instant she turns back, pointing the Tesla straight in his direction.

"Claudia!" He bellows, emerging from the shadows. "Put that thing down, that isn't a toy!"

"Artie, What the hell?" She demands.

"Nevermind. I was never here. You did not see me, do you understand?"

"Oh, I'm gonna need a little more than that." She answers, still pointing the Tesla in his direction.

"Put that thing down!" He orders her "And keep your voice down. I don't want Myka to know I'm here."

"You don't want Myka to know you're here? Why not? And what's that worth to you to keep your secret?"

"It's worth your job, that's what it's worth. I'm just keeping an eye on things. Carry on and pretend I was never here."

"You're keeping an eye on us?" She demands, insulted.

"Not now Claudia! Get back on the job, that's an order!" He is whispering but Claudia jumps at the magnitude of rage in his voice. She eyes him disapprovingly, and returns silently to her post. Everything is just as she had left it. The entire floor abandoned. There is something about Artie checking up on them makes her blood boil. As if he didn't believe they were capable of a simple assignment. Then why bother sending them in the first place? He could have come himself. Only when the anger dies down a little does she start to wonder why he had been so angry with her. And then finally, confusion sets in. Still, she doesn't think she will tell Myka. She feels bad keeping secrets, especially ridiculous secrets like this. And she doesn't really think Artie would go so far as to fire her. But it is the first time he has let her out in the field, and she wants to prove she is trust worthy. Besides, she thinks it would only make Myka angry, and they still have a hell of a long drive back home. So she does her best to put Artie and his ridiculous 'checking up' on them out of her mind and turns her concentration to the task at hand. She stares down the empty corridor, wondering if Artie is still watching her. Just how long had Myka been gone? It takes Claudia a few minutes to collect her thoughts. And then she does the one thing Myka specifically told her not to do, she abandons her post and follows the path Myka had taken into the offices.


	25. Chapter 25

_**Chapter 25**_

"What are you talking about?" Myka can't help but ask, even though everything in her tells her not to get sucked in to this conversation. She knows she shouldn't let him get under her skin. She knows she should stand there and defend them, but something in her can not do it. And it's not because she is playing along with him. It's because there is truth to his words. After all, Artie keeps so many secrets from her. The trust between them is tenuous at best. She can not hide the sincerity in her eyes as she asks the question, and she falls easily into his trap.

"That artifact." He points to the rock. "Isn't it familiar to you?" He asks her. She looks. It's a rock. She's seen plenty. But that particular one, she can't say it stands out. She does not answer him.

"Perhaps you should ask your young friend where it came from. Aisle 365, Section G, top shelf." He prompts her. "I'm sure she is aware of it, being that she attends to most of the inventory."

He is trying to frazzle her, with his knowledge about the Warehouse, and she is determined not to let him.

"So- what are you saying? You took this from the Warehouse and planted it here? If you can go in and take anything you want, what do you need me for?" She asks.

"Not me. I said it came from the warehouse. Not that I had taken it. Believe me when I tell you, last night, this item was safely tucked away on it's shelf in the Warehouse. And tonight, for some reason, someone has planted it here. Ask your young friend if she knows how it got here."

"What are you trying to say?" She wants to know.

"Those people you work for, are not who you think they are. They are not the good guys. They are controlling you, manipulating you, lying to you. How certain are you that you're on the right side?" He taunts her.

"And your side is the right one I suppose?" She scoffs

"I wouldn't go that far. Right and wrong is far to black and white for my tastes. The world isn't so easily defined."

"You think I'm the kind of person to sell out for my own personal gain?" She asks him. And, somehow, she finds this his answer matters to her. She isn't asking as some sort of game, or to lure him into any kind of trap. She genuinely wants to know.

"It's not your own gain though, is it? It's for Sam. You owe it to him." He responds without missing a beat. "In fact, it comes at a huge cost to you."

"What cost?" She wants to know.

"You can not expect to un-do the mistakes without upsetting the fragile balance of life. A life for a life, that's how it works. Otherwise, death would be meaningless. You want to restore Sam's life, it comes at a high cost. The cost of a life."

She turns this over in her head. Somehow she thinks this makes his offer more enticing to her- the thought that she should sacrifice her own life to save Sam's. After all, it was her fault he lost his life in the first place. She doesn't stop to pay attention to the fact that he had not specifically said it would be her own life that paid the price.

She still can't let herself be pulled in though, tempting as it is. She has forgotten for a moment that this was all a plan to catch him. That she is supposed to be playing along with him, learning what he knows and what he plans to do. For a moment she is standing there, seriously considering the things he is telling her, as if there is just a chance she might go along with it. But enticing as he makes it sound, there is just no way. And she is well aware that he is the one trying to manipulate her. She will not fall for it.

"So you want me to help you, knowing nothing about what your plans are for this artifact, how it will affect the world. You can't think I'd be that foolish? That I wouldn't spare a thought for the destruction you could wreak on society."

"Ghastly things happen every day." He reminds her. "The world is falling to pieces. People are dying needlessly. What could be wrong with an artifact that can un-do mistakes, that can alleviate suffering? There is no crime in that. The crime is that it's locked away, out of reach." He is almost convincing, if only she didn't know so much better.

"You can't decide that one persons death is a mistake, that someone else deserves it more. You can't play God like that." She protests passionately as she thinks about all the power struggles that would ensue if an artifact that could exchange life for death were unleashed on the world.

"Isn't that exactly what you are doing? Haven't you already decided that Sam's life means more to you? That you'd sacrifice anything to un- do the mistakes you made that day?"

She doesn't answer him. Because, truth be told, if he were standing here right now with that artifact in his hands, telling her she could go back in time and somehow swap her life for Sam's, she wouldn't hesitate. But Sam was just one person, and she could not take on the responsibility of setting that kind of artifact free into the world.

"I'll tell you who is playing God." He continues "And that is the people who have taken it upon themselves to lock these artifacts away from the world. The artifacts don't belong to you, to the people you work for. What right have you to keep them from people who desperately need them? People like Sam who should not have died."

Then, it hits her finally. She isn't standing here making a choice, as if the future of life and death rested on her shoulders. She is here to catch these people, to stop them. That's why she is here. The only reason she is here. She repeats it to herself silently, until she almost believes it.

"Tell me what you want me to do." She utters softly. Hoping he will believe that he has been convincing in his arguments and won her over.

"Not yet." He responds. "There are things I need to set in place."

"What kind of things?" She asks.

"You'll see. We will talk soon." He turns his back, and involuntarily she calls out after him. She calls his name, Tom. The name she had ascribed to him in a dream. The name he had never told her. The name she told herself she had fabricated. She waited for his reaction. Waited for him to turn back and ask her_ 'Who the hell is Tom?_' 

And he does turn back towards her, startled. She has caught him off guard, she can see it. It makes her feel victorious for just a moment.

"So." His eerie voice echoes in the empty room. "You do remember me."


	26. Chapter 26

_**Chapter 26**_

Myka stares at him intently, trying her best to appear intimidating. She is thinking to herself that she doesn't remember him in the slightest. No, not true. She had remembered his name. There had always been some sort of eerie familiarity about him. But specific details? No. She did not remember.

He seemed to know enough about her, about Sam. Had he been a former colleague? A friend of Sam's? She can't place him. But she doesn't want him to know it. She is supposed to remember him, clearly. After all, he remembers her.

Before either of them can speak, they hear the clumsy banging of approaching footsteps.

He doesn't look surprised or alarmed. He merely disappears before her very eyes, scurrying under the desk to hide out of sight. It takes Myka a minute to recognise that it's Claudia approaching. God help them both in the field if Artie insists on sending that girl out. She has a lot to learn.

"What's the hold up, you're taking forever!" Claudia complains as she bursts in the door.

"I told you to wait outside!" Myka responds.

"Waiting is boring."

"Keep your voice down, you're making enough noise to wake the dead." Myka scolds the girl.

"You're the one shouting at me." Claudia responds.

_This is true_, Myka concedes.

"Besides, there is no one here. So what's the hold up?" Claudia asks.

"No hold up." Myka answers absent mindedly. She turns her gaze from Claudia to the rock on the desk. She looks at it, long and hard. Trying to make sense of the things "_Tom_" had told her. She wants to pick it up in her bare hands. She is drawn to it somehow. She reaches her fingers out towards it, just to touch it, just for a minute. As if that would answer all her unresolved questions.

"What are you doing?" Claudia hisses, shoving Myka aside. Myka stumbles, her hands falling onto a folder perched precariously on the edge of the desk, sending the rock flying. Claudia skilfully lifts the lid on the bucket of purple goo and catches the rock inside. Myka has to admit it's a little impressive. There is a blinding flash of light, and they both duck instinctively.

"Gees Myka, what were you thinking? Who knows what that thing does?" Claudia wants to know.

Myka snatches the bucket from the younger girl, irritated. "I don't need you to tell me how to do my job."

"Apparently you do." Claudia retorts.

Irritated though she is, there is something refreshing about the way Claudia speaks her mind. At least she knows where she stands.

Upon reflection of her conversation with Tom, Myka changes the subject.

"You never seen this before?" She asks Claudia, motioning to the bucket. She realises she is getting a tiny bit swept up in paranoia. She suspects everyone, Claudia included. "Does it look familiar to you?"

"It's a rock." Claudia answers. "I've seen plenty of rocks before."

"In the Warehouse." Myka clarifies, irritated. "Have you ever seen this in the Warehouse?" 

Claudia thinks for a moment, and Myka sees something in her eyes. Or perhaps its just the fact she is not rolling them as if Myka is crazy.

"Is this a trick question?" Claudia asks. She too feels like this is some sort of test. What a strange question to ask. She pieces it together with Artie spying on them, and doesn't know what to make of anything.

It's then, and only then, Myka remembers Tom is still right there in the room, hiding under the desk. Remembers that he told her to ask Claudia about that stupid rock, and realises that she had done as he asked, right in front of him too. She really was losing it.

"Forget it, nevermind." Myka mumbles as she grabs the bucket in one hand, and Claudia in the other, and pushes the girl out of the room.

Back at the Warehouse Claudia questions Artie in the privacy of his office.

"What's the go?" She demands

"I beg your pardon? Since when do I answer to you?" He replies.

"I find it very strange, and a little creepy, to find you spying on us." She admits.

"I was not spying." Comes the insistent reply.

"And then Myka asked me about the rock, if I'd seen it before, in the Warehouse." Claudia continues.

Artie sighs. How could Myka possibly have recognised that rock. How many millions of things were in that Warehouse? How many dozens of rocks? Why would she notice a fairly inconspicuous rock that doesn't do anything impressive? Then again, it was Myka, attention to detail. And Artie supposes he should have anticipated this.

To stop Claudia's incessant questioning he informs her "I was testing you." Hoping it will satisfy the girl.

"Testing me?" Claudia repeats.

"Yes testing you, you passed, Congratulations. You're the most amazing apprentice the Warehouse has ever seen. Don't make me say it again."

"So I passed your test? Does this mean I can go out in the field more often?" Claudia asks eagerly.

"Yes yes, now be quiet leave me alone, and not a word about this to anyone."

It's quiet at dinner. No one speaks much. Just Claudia basking in the glory of her successful case.

"See, you can retire now old man." She says to Pete.

Artie is smiling as he watches. It's odd.

Myka sits quietly saying nothing. She never says a word about Claudia disobeying her orders. And Claudia never says a word about the way Myka had reached for that rock without purple gloves on. It's a mutually beneficial silence.

After dinner, not too soon after as to draw suspicion to herself, but soon enough, Myka excuses herself, claiming to be tired. She heads towards the Warehouse when she thinks no one is watching her, determined to get to the bottom of this business with the rock.

She walks around aimlessly at first. There is something primal about walking the floor, as if she is being pulled towards something. As she walks onwards, she glances at the aisle numbers, Tom's reference echoing in her mind Aisle 365, Section G, top shelf.

She doesn't want to admit it, but she feels understood by Tom. As if she doesn't have to explain herself. Her loneliness, grief, guilt. As if he knows her. Intimately.

Pete cares about her, of that she has no doubt what so ever. But he doesn't understand her. She doesn't want him to, really. Pete had always thought the best of her, right from day one he trusted her implicitly. She wanted to tell him he was wrong, so many times. That he made a bad judgement call. But it felt so nice, being trusted. Being valued. Being his partner.

She hadn't heard him creeping up behind her, in itself this was strange as footsteps echoed loudly in the warehouse, and he was limping along with his walking stick clicking on the floor beside him.

She jumps a little in fright as he asks "Hey, what are you doing?"

"Nothing." She answers, unconvinced and unconvincingly.

It's then her eyes cast upon the shelf containing that rock.

"Something on your mind, Myka?" He asks. He is full of sweetness, as he has always been. And she wants to confide in him.

"This." She motions to the rock.

"Isn't that the rock you and Claudia bought back from New York?"

"It's been here before." Myka says softly. "Look."

This time she picks it up in her bare hands, after all it's been neutralised by the solution. She sees the ring of thick dust around the place where the rock had been sitting. Years and years of dust. There is nothing more technical to it than that. This rock has been here for a long long time.

She looks to Pete, he doesn't look puzzled, not in the slightest. He barely looks interested in the rock.

"Does it matter?" Pete asks.

"You know something. You're keeping something from me. You're lying to me, Pete." She accuses him.

Pete says nothing, he reaches forward to take her hand, but she flinches away from him. And turns and walks away.

It stabs through him more than anything she could have said in that moment, the look of disdain in her eyes.

"Wait, Myka. It wasn't my idea. I didn't even know about it until..."

She stops, turning to face him. He has caught her attention. "Tell me. Everything."

"It's not important." He insists.

"Fine." She answers, and turns from him again.

"It was Artie. He set it up. The mission in New York."

"Why?" Myka is genuinely confused. "Was it some kind of test?"

"I don't know. I don't think so." Pete answers.

"You lied to me. You knew this was all a set up. You knew how desperately I didn't want to go. And all those things you said to me, about how you had faith in me, I suppose that was all lies." She accuses him.

"No Myka!" He insists. "Everything I said was true. I wasn't part of this."

"You lied to me!" Rage is boiling inside her. And it's more than Pete, more than Artie, more than being lied to about a stupid rock. It's a lifetime of being controlled, of being kept in the dark, of things not making sense to her. She has a crazy impulse to throw the rock at him. But she restrains herself. She grips that thing tightly in her hands and breathes in, just staring at him. Trying not to cry.

She has had enough of this, of all of this.

She doesn't want to be here any more.

She doesn't want to be a part of this.

But she has no words to explain it to him.

Nothing he would understand.

He deserves so much better.

"Goodbye Pete." She manages to whisper as she pushes past him.

She isn't running, but she is walking fast enough that he hasn't a hope of catching her with his injured leg.

She isn't even aware that the rock is still gripped tightly in her hand, as if she is holding on for dear life.


End file.
